some people work for the same organisation all their working life. others think that it is better to work for different organisations. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

#people #work #organisation #life #organisations

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Some people believe that working for the same

company

for the rest of their working life is better. Meanwhile, others consider it is much better to gain some experience

while

working in different

companies

Although

working in the same

company

has remained more convenient, I believe that working in different

companies

can enhance the variety of skills

workers

need to help them improve. On the one hand, people who are working for the same organisation tend to feel more comfortable. It is because they do not need to waste their time to adapt again in their organisation environment. It

also

helps them to have more understanding about the certain

company

than others, so they will be able to give their best performance.

For example

, a senior consultant who has worked for the same

company

and shared their values with each other has a better work performance than others who entered the

company

However

, it

also

depends on the

company

, it is hard for to

workers

give their best performance unless the

company

has a positive environment to grow as well.

On the other hand

, working in different

companies

helps people to gain a variety of

experiences

in order to help them improve. Different

companies

offer different valuable

experiences

and different jobs. As

workers

, it is better to witness the different kinds of

experiences

in a variety of

companies

because they can elaborate on all of these

experiences

to help them improve.

For example

, someone who has various

experiences

would be able to face any difficult situations more easily than someone who always does the same thing for the rest of their life. In conclusion,

although

working for the same

company

feels more comfortable, I believe that it does not really help

workers

to improve.

While working

Correct word choice

Working

show examples

in different

companies

help

Correct subject-verb agreement

helps

show examples

them face difficult situations that can help them improve automatically.

Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on Sun Dec 10 2023

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Coherence & Cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that all sentences within the paragraph smoothly link to this central topic for better coherence.

Task Achievement

Develop your main points further by providing more detailed examples and explanations. This can help to support your arguments more convincingly and strengthen your overall task achievement.

Coherence & Cohesion

To raise your score, work on varying your sentence structures and linking words for improved logical flow between your ideas.

Task Achievement

Your introduction and conclusion are present and serve their purpose, but could be enhanced by making your personal standpoint clearer in the introduction and summarizing the contrasting views more succinctly in the conclusion.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

310 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Longevity
Corporate ladder
Adaptability
Comfort zone
Professional network
Diverse skill set
Industry exposure
Innovation
Resilience
Seniority
Job market
Career trajectory
Company culture
Professional growth
Job security
Promotion prospects
Cross-functional experience

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some people work for the same organisation all their working life. others think that it is better to work for different organisations. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

1.Many people prefer to watch foreign films rather than locally produced films. Why could this be? Should governments give more financial support to local film industries

Why is Indonesia moving its capital from Jakarta to Borneo?

There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the International music that is heard everywhere nowadays?

Some companies sponsor sport as a way to advertise themselves. Some people think it is good for the world of sports, while others think there are disadvantages. Discuss both views and give your opinion.