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Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

some people work for the same organisation all their working life. others think that it is better to work for different organisations. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

#people #work #organisation #life #organisations
Some people believe that working for the same
company
 for the rest of their working life is better. Meanwhile, others consider it is much better to gain some experience
while
 working in different
companies
.
Although
 working in the same
company
 has remained more convenient, I believe that working in different
companies
 can enhance the variety of skills
workers
 need to help them improve. On the one hand, people who are working for the same organisation tend to feel more comfortable. It is because they do not need to waste their time to adapt again in their organisation environment. It
also
 helps them to have more understanding about the certain
company
 than others, so they will be able to give their best performance.
For example
, a senior consultant who has worked for the same
company
 and shared their values with each other has a better work performance than others who entered the
company
.
However
, it
also
 depends on the
company
, it is hard for to
workers
 give their best performance unless the
company
 has a positive environment to grow as well.
On the other hand
, working in different
companies
 helps people to gain a variety of
experiences
 in order to help them improve. Different
companies
 offer different valuable
experiences
 and different jobs. As
workers
, it is better to witness the different kinds of
experiences
 in a variety of
companies
 because they can elaborate on all of these
experiences
 to help them improve.
For example
, someone who has various
experiences
 would be able to face any difficult situations more easily than someone who always does the same thing for the rest of their life. In conclusion,
although
 working for the same
company
 feels more comfortable, I believe that it does not really help
workers
 to improve.
While working
Correct word choice
Working
show examples
 in different
companies
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
 them face difficult situations that can help them improve automatically.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that all sentences within the paragraph smoothly link to this central topic for better coherence.
Task Achievement
Develop your main points further by providing more detailed examples and explanations. This can help to support your arguments more convincingly and strengthen your overall task achievement.
Coherence & Cohesion
To raise your score, work on varying your sentence structures and linking words for improved logical flow between your ideas.
Task Achievement
Your introduction and conclusion are present and serve their purpose, but could be enhanced by making your personal standpoint clearer in the introduction and summarizing the contrasting views more succinctly in the conclusion.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Longevity
  • Corporate ladder
  • Adaptability
  • Comfort zone
  • Professional network
  • Diverse skill set
  • Industry exposure
  • Innovation
  • Resilience
  • Seniority
  • Job market
  • Career trajectory
  • Company culture
  • Professional growth
  • Job security
  • Promotion prospects
  • Cross-functional experience
What to do next:
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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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