Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today’s would, subjects like science and technology are more important than History. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays, there are
people
who argue that
science
and
technology
are more important than
history
subject. In my opinion, I agree to some
extents
Fix the agreement mistake
extent
show examples
because
science
and
technology
provide easiness to our lives
such
as digital literacy. In
this
essay, I will discuss and give relevant opinions based on factual premises. There are several advantages to
focus
Wrong verb form
focusing
show examples
on studying
science
and
technology
than
Rephrase
rather than
show examples
history
. The predominant one is that
technology
and
science
bring more benefits to the economy of the country. It is one of
driving
Correct article usage
the driving
show examples
force
Fix the agreement mistake
forces
show examples
behind economic growth and innovation.
People
also
learns
Change the verb form
learn
show examples
about new skills that might
be help
Change the verb form
help
show examples
them
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
future
Correct article usage
the future
show examples
.
In addition
,
people
can solve numerous global
problem
Change the noun form
problems
show examples
such
as climate change and health issues that in the end help to boost
economy
Add an article
the economy
show examples
of the country.
On the other hand
,
while
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
learning about
history
will encourage
people
to understand more about
culture
Correct article usage
the culture
show examples
and identity of their country which are being forgotten nowadays.
In
addition
Add a comma
addition,
show examples
they can learn from their past mistakes and make it
success
Add an article
a success
show examples
.
Moreover
,
history
subject
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subjects
show examples
would inspire our future leaders to learn about past mistakes and make a new regulation that
more
Add a missing verb
is more
show examples
convenient to
people
.
Moreover
,
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
learning
history
,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can help student
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
build their critical thinking and analytical skills.
For example
, students can try to use
other method
Change the wording
another method
other methods
show examples
that
more
Add a missing verb
are more
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creative because they know the previous method
not
Add a missing verb
is not
show examples
satisfied yet. In conclusion, there are numerous advantages if
people
have knowledge
for
Change preposition
of
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all those subjects. In my opinion, learning
history
and knowing their past mistakes can inspire scientists to provide us
the
Add the preposition
with the
show examples
best
technology
and
science
for the future.
Submitted by gladysdharmawan1994 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and paragraphing should be logical and obvious with a clear central topic in each paragraph.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider range of cohesive devices and topic-specific vocabulary to better connect your ideas and add clarity to your argument structure.
task achievement
Develop your main points more fully with explanations and relevant, detailed examples. Avoid repetitive and general statements.
task achievement
Expand on all parts of the task equally and ensure a balanced treatment of both sides of the argument before concluding with your own opinion.
task achievement
Work on varying your sentence structure to show a range of complex structures and produce fewer errors in grammar and vocabulary usage.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural heritage
  • Analytical skills
  • Economic growth
  • Innovation
  • Interdisciplinary
  • STEM fields
  • Democratic participation
  • Problem-solving
  • Adaptability
  • Global challenges
  • Critical thinking
  • Perspective
  • Citizenship
  • Curriculum
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