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Band 3

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Schools should focus on academic success and passing examinations. Skills such as cookery, dressmaking and woodwork should not be taught at school as it is better to learn these from family and friends. To that extent do you agree or disagree. You should write at least 250 words.

#minutes #schools #focus #success #examinations #skills #cookery #woodwork #school #friends
The
schools
 are actually preparing the children to get academically strong and to pass the exams ultimately.
This
 is the actual happening
schools
. the
schools
 should
also
 take steps to teach about cookery, dressmaking and woodwork. I ultimately disagree
the
Change preposition
with the
show examples
 phrase.
Correct article usage
School
show examples
The school
Correct article usage
School
show examples
 is the primary education of children,
Correct word choice
and it
show examples
it
Correct word choice
and it
show examples
 should not
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
be
Verb problem
apply
show examples
end just like that. The reason to disagree
the
Change preposition
with the
show examples
 phrase is that, the children are in need of
extra curricular
Correct your spelling
extracurricular
show examples
 activities like cookery, dressmaking and woodwork. They can learn it even from their family and friends. But
schools
 are the
apprpriate
Correct your spelling
appropriate
 place to learn all things.
For instance
, there are two people in the same business concern. They two are only good
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
academically. So they need to find and recruit more
employe
Correct your spelling
employees
show examples
 for other activities like billing and computerised
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
. If the school
were
Verb problem
had
show examples
 taught them the extra-curricular activities they may
be
Verb problem
have
show examples
sucseed
Correct your spelling
succeeded
 in their
buisiness
Correct your spelling
business
 without finding and recruiting more employees from outside.
To conclude
, only knowledge from
academic
Fix the agreement mistake
academics
show examples
 is not fully enough for students to
sucseed
Correct your spelling
succeed
 in their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
. The more they focus on academic success and passing examinations, the more they tend to fail
hardly
Rephrase
apply
show examples
. so
finally
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 strongly
disagreeing
Wrong verb form
disagree
show examples
the
Change preposition
with the
show examples
 phrase Skills
such
 as cookery, dressmaking and woodwork should not be taught at school as it is better to learn these from family and friends.
Submitted by insighttribez on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure the essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph should introduce a single idea and develop it with specific examples and explanations.
coherence cohesion
Work on constructing logical argumentation throughout the essay, with clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to guide the reader through your points.
task achievement
Address the prompt directly, ensuring that your opinion is clear and maintained throughout the essay. Provide a balanced view if the question requires discussing both sides.
task achievement
Specific examples to support your points are crucial. Make sure that the examples are directly relevant to the argument you're making and illustrate your point effectively.
coherence cohesion
Keep your writing formal and avoid colloquial language. Check for grammar mistakes and aim for varied sentence structures to demonstrate a good command of the English language.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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