The chart below shows the percentage of people who aten five portions of fruit and vegetable per day in the uk from 2001 to 2008

The chart below shows the percentage of people who aten five portions of fruit and vegetable per day in the uk from 2001 to 2008
The
bargraph
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bar graph
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illustrates
illustrate
illlustrates
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illustrates
the relative
contributin
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contribution
contributions
made by the people who consumed five
fruits
and
vegetable
Fix the agreement mistake
vegetables
show examples
in a day Over the whole
time
period
Add a comma
period,
show examples
the
percentage
of eating
fruits
and
vegetables
by women,
men
and and
children
has
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
difference
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
year
to
year
.
Comparing
Wrong verb form
Compared
show examples
to women the
percentage
of
men
and
children
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
devouring
fruits
and
vegetables
per day is quite low. The eating
percentage
of eating
fruits
and
vegetables
by
children
is
remains
Wrong verb form
remained
show examples
12
Change preposition
at 12
show examples
from the
year
2001 to 2003.
Its
Replace the word
It's
It is
show examples
going to
applicable
Add a missing verb
be applicable
show examples
for
men
also
they
remains
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remain
show examples
at 18
percentage
Replace the word
per cent
show examples
in the period which is mentioned for
children
. But both of them offered their
time
for consuming greens and wares
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
gradually increased from the
year
2004.
On
Change preposition
In
show examples
the
year
2006
percentage
Correct article usage
the percentage
show examples
of
fruits
and
vegetables
haven by
children
is more than 20
at
Correct word choice
and at
show examples
the same
time
Add a comma
time,
show examples
it is more than 25
by
Change preposition
for
show examples
men
as well.
Womens
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Women
remained a steady consumer of
time
in
uk
Correct your spelling
UK
for devouring five
fruits
and
vegetables
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
show examples
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
2006 it increased to 30
percentage
Replace the word
per cent
show examples
. But from the
year
2007
Add a comma
2007,
show examples
their concentration towards eating
fruits
and
vegetables
is declined.
Percentage
Correct article usage
The percentage
show examples
of consuming greens and wares in
the
Change the article
apply
show examples
2008 is less than 30%
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
is slightly low when
comparing
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
this
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
with the
percentage
womens
Correct your spelling
women
show examples
have in the earlier years.
Submitted by insighttribez on

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Basic structure: Change the first paragraph.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Vocabulary: Replace the words fruits, time, percentage, vegetables, men, children, year with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 8 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "remains" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the first paragraph.
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