IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some people think that foreign visitors should be charged more than locals during their visit to historical or cultural places, to what extent do you agree or disagree.

#people #visitors #locals #visit #places
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Nowadays, for most historical areas access fees for global
visitors
 are higher than the local
visitors
,
however
,
this
 is becoming
a known rules
Correct the article-noun agreement
a known rule
known rules
show examples
 worldwide.
Therefore
 most of the promotions and the tourist offerings in the cultural
places
 were designed for the outside
visitors
due to
 the higher income. First, charging the foreign
visitors
 more than the locals will impact the tourism income and it will cause fewer global people.
For instance
, encouraging locals to visit old
places
 or historical areas will improve internal activities and improve the facilities and services in those locations.
On the other hand
, most of the planned trips for global groups will be supported by standard access fees,
therefore
 most of the organisations are facing the same challenges whenever they are hosting and trip or visit
due to
 the high cost.
Second,
giving special rates for the local citizen to
do
Verb problem
make
show examples
 visits and trips locally will help the society and be more connected to their culture and communities.
Whereas increasing
Correct word choice
Increasing
show examples
 the price rates will be beneficial from
economic
Add an article
an economic
show examples
 perspective,
Therefore
 all the other products and services were sold in those
places
also
Rephrase
apply
show examples
at different rates as well. In conclusion, I totally disagree with having different
ratesrates
Correct your spelling
rates
 for the
visitors
,
while
 having a flat price will be much better to encourage people to visit more
places
 and change the image of the visited countries by supporting them to know more about other cultures and their history which will increase the society knowledge.
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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