IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

The pictures show information about average income and spending on food and clothes by an average family in the city in the UK.

#pictures #show #information #income #food #clothes #city #uk
The given table depicts the data about
Correct article usage
the
show examples
sum average of salary and expenditure on meal and outfit of
Add an article
the
an
show examples
average household over three years in The
UK
, whilst the pie chart
illustrate
Change the verb form
illustrates
show examples
 the five items of outlay that
family
Correct article usage
the family
show examples
 spent on that items from 2010 to 2013.
Overall
, In 2010, the total income of
average
Add an article
an average
the average
show examples
 family in The
UK
 decreased over
given
Add an article
a given
show examples
 period. Even though, the expense
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 food and clothing grew up over three years.
In addition
, the highest proportion expenditure for clothing and
meal
Fix the agreement mistake
meals
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 was fruits and vegetables,
whereas
 clothes was the least. Looking into the information in more detail, we can see that in 2010, the sum average of income every household in the
UK
 was 29000
pounds
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 which 14000
pounds
 were used to buy meals and outfits. The figure
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 salary
decline
Wrong verb form
declined
show examples
to
become
Verb problem
apply
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just 25000
pounds
 in 2013, but the total average
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
expenditure
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
foods
Fix the agreement mistake
food
show examples
 and
cloths
Correct your spelling
clothes
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 rose by 10000
pounds
. Regarding the family outlay on clothing and meal in 2013, 30 %
Change preposition
of household
show examples
household
Fix the agreement mistake
households
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spent
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
money on fruits and vegetables
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
which
Add a missing verb
is
show examples
around two times higher than clothes and daily
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
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 with 13 % and 16 % respectively. Average
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
in the
UK
 reported that they bought almost 30 %
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 other food and 23 % used
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
fruits and fish
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
fulfilling
Wrong verb form
fulfil
show examples
they
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 basic needs.
Submitted by musa.nuwa on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay shows an attempt to organize information and ideas but lacks a clear progression of ideas. Use paragraphing more effectively to enhance readability and avoid large blocks of text. Incorporate a range of cohesive devices beyond basic linking words such as 'Overall,' 'In addition,' and 'Regarding.'
task achievement
While you covered the task in a basic manner, your response lacked depth in analysis. Develop your key points further with more focused and expanded explanations. Avoid repeating the same ideas and ensure you thoroughly address all parts of the task.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • average income
  • spending habits
  • proportion
  • cost of living
  • economic changes
  • cultural factors
  • standard of living
  • economic health
  • leftover income
  • savings
  • expenses
  • financial trends
  • value for money
  • economic forecasts
  • significant increase/decrease
  • spending patterns
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