You would like to be work in a different city to be closer to your family. Write a letter to your employer to request a transfer to another office. In the letter: - Explain why you would like to move - Request that your employer place you in a specific city - Request that it be completed by a certain date
Dear Manager, Hope
this
letter finds you well. I am writing this
letter to request you to relocate me to the
Hyderabad, where my family resides.Correct article usage
apply
Firstly
, I am extremely grateful for giving me the opportunity to work with this
organization. I am
with Wrong verb form
have been
this
organization from
Change preposition
for
past
4 years in Bangalore. I would like you to consider me moving to Hyderabad city as my family stays there.As I had Correct article usage
the past
mention
in our previous conversation Change the verb form
mentioned
that
Correct word choice
apply
me
and my wife Correct pronoun usage
apply
is
blessed with a baby boy Wrong verb form
I were
last
month. They both are doing well. But as we move on further
she will be requiring my parenting support. Furthermore
, she will be joining her office in coming
month Add an article
a coming
the coming
last
week i.e. 24/12/2023. Consequently
, We all know in today's modern world both parent
are Change to a plural noun
parents
require
to raise a kid.Hope to hear from you Change the form of the verb
required
soonYours
sincerelyAakashCorrect your spelling
soon yours
Submitted by kishna.238 on
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coherence cohesion
The letter could be better structured with clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Ensure each paragraph contains one main idea and that the ideas flow logically from one to the next.
task achievement
While you provided explanations and a specific request, be sure to expand on these by providing more detail and supporting information to fully accomplish the task.
suitable writing tone
A more formal greeting and closing would be appropriate for correspondence with an employer. Refrain from using colloquial language and ensure the use of complete sentences.
logical structure
The use of more sophisticated connectors and transition phrases would enhance the cohesion of the letter.
single idea per paragraph
Paragraphs should be better separated to enhance the readability of the letter.
The Closing
The style of the letter determine how you have to close it.
Check out the suggested closing sentences for each type of letter in the General IELTS Test. The closing sentence should be the last sentence of your letter.
Formal style (To someone you have not met, whose name you don’t know)
- Yours faithfully,
Semi-formal (To someone you may or may not have met, whose last name you know)
- Yours sincerely,
Informal (To someone you know well, whose first name you know and use)
- Best regards,
- Warm wishes,