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The internet is a great invention that brings a host of advantages for the world population. However, there are several issues in terms of security and control of personal data. Do you agree or disagree with this?

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The invention of the
internet
 has brought a lot of advantages to individual well-being.
However
, I agree that there are some threats to personal
user
's
information
 and privacy. On the one hand, Life has become much easier since the
internet
 was invented.
This
 helps us to organize our data more efficiently and search through them much more easily and quickly. There are some websites and social media applications which
procide
Correct your spelling
provide
 us
this
Change preposition
with this
show examples
 importance.
For example
, cloud spaces have been used to upload pictures and movies which you could access via the
internet
 connection without any need for external storage.
On the other hand
, there are some dangers to people's life privacy and data which should be more
concerned
Replace the word
concern
show examples
.
This
 is because employees who work for
internet
 companies can access the
user
's
information
 through the servers.
Furthermore
, a lot of social media accounts are hacked by professional hackers who get paid a load of money to unleash a person's web
accounts
Change the noun form
account
show examples
information
.
For instance
, some years ago, The boss of
Facebook
Add an article
the Facebook
show examples
 company Mark
Zuckeburg
Correct your spelling
Zuckerberg
 leaked all the
What'sapp
Correct your spelling
WhatsApp
 and Facebook
user's
Change noun form
user
show examples
information
 and gave it to the US government. In conclusion,
while
 the
internet
 could be beneficial and very convenient, I believe several issues exist in terms of security and personal
user
 data.
Submitted by amirrezadelghandi3 on

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coherence cohesion
To improve your score, ensure that your essay has a clear logical structure by presenting ideas in a progressive and cohesive manner. Transition words can help bridge ideas between sentences and paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
A strong introduction and conclusion are vital. Your introduction should clearly state your position on the topic, and your conclusion should effectively summarize the main points without introducing new information.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points with detailed and specific examples. This not only strengthens your argument but also demonstrates an ability to use a range of language structures effectively.
task achievement
Your essay should fully respond to the task provided, with a clear position throughout the response. Make sure to address all parts of the task to achieve a higher score.
task achievement
Ensure your ideas are clear and comprehensive. This can be achieved through careful paragraphing and development of ideas that are directly related to the task question.
task achievement
Use relevant and specific examples to support your ideas. Examples add credibility to your argument and illustrate your points more clearly, thus contributing to a higher task achievement score.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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