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Writing Samples
Band 3

The internet is a great invention that brings a host of advantages for the world population. However, there are several issues in terms of security and control of personal data. Do you agree or disagree with this?

#internet #invention #host #world #population #terms #security #control #data
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The invention of the
internet
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 has brought a lot of advantages to individual well-being.
However
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, I agree that there are some threats to personal
user
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's
information
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 and privacy. On the one hand, Life has become much easier since the
internet
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 was invented.
This
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 helps us to organize our data more efficiently and search through them much more easily and quickly. There are some websites and social media applications which
procide
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provide
 us
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this
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with this
show examples
 importance.
For example
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, cloud spaces have been used to upload pictures and movies which you could access via the
internet
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 connection without any need for external storage.
On the other hand
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, there are some dangers to people's life privacy and data which should be more
concerned
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concern
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.
This
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 is because employees who work for
internet
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 companies can access the
user
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's
information
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 through the servers.
Furthermore
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, a lot of social media accounts are hacked by professional hackers who get paid a load of money to unleash a person's web
accounts
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account
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information
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.
For instance
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, some years ago, The boss of
Facebook
Add an article
the Facebook
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 company Mark
Zuckeburg
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Zuckerberg
 leaked all the
What'sapp
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WhatsApp
 and Facebook
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user's
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user
show examples
information
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 and gave it to the US government. In conclusion,
while
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 the
internet
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 could be beneficial and very convenient, I believe several issues exist in terms of security and personal
user
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 data.
Submitted by amirrezadelghandi3 on

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coherence cohesion
To improve your score, ensure that your essay has a clear logical structure by presenting ideas in a progressive and cohesive manner. Transition words can help bridge ideas between sentences and paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
A strong introduction and conclusion are vital. Your introduction should clearly state your position on the topic, and your conclusion should effectively summarize the main points without introducing new information.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points with detailed and specific examples. This not only strengthens your argument but also demonstrates an ability to use a range of language structures effectively.
task achievement
Your essay should fully respond to the task provided, with a clear position throughout the response. Make sure to address all parts of the task to achieve a higher score.
task achievement
Ensure your ideas are clear and comprehensive. This can be achieved through careful paragraphing and development of ideas that are directly related to the task question.
task achievement
Use relevant and specific examples to support your ideas. Examples add credibility to your argument and illustrate your points more clearly, thus contributing to a higher task achievement score.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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