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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Is there any value in studying academic subjects that are not 'useful' in terms of generating wealth for the country? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#value #subjects #terms #wealth #country
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The universities have various fields of academic subjects that are useless for acquiring wealth and fortune for the government and country.
Additionally
, individuals have a negative attitude towards these types of majors
due to
 worthless for heightening the capital for the nations.
Although
 my point of view is totally
on the contrary
, it means I believe educating in different majors is vital for each nation to have a valuable lifespan and grow rapidly. Having a positive mindset
among
Change preposition
in
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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society
,
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apply
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 determines their
life
 satisfaction rate, and it is key to community peace,
in contrast
 to just working hard blindly and earning money without any attention to our inner body requirements.
thus
, Investing in a healthy mindset by learning it
in
Change preposition
from
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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colleagues will improve our quality of
life
,
furthermore
, we will perceive what a peaceful
life
 is.
Moreover
, having positive behaviour towards growing faster in everything is essential for people, to illustrate, whenever students learn how to acquire everything faster, it will help them to achieve more in their lifespan, and
consequently
, the nations will grow easier too,
hence
, the governments should try to lead students to all types of fields. All in all, wealth and fortune are not everything at all, there are many things that are more important for nations and populations,
such
 as
life
 expectancy and a peaceful mind,
accordingly
, I
recommand
Correct your spelling
recommend
 to society, that they must not just focus on earning money,
instead
 of that, it will better to study in various areas in the educational institution to grow their all parts of
life
.
Submitted by akbargh1995 on

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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
Introduction and conclusion should clearly outline and summarize the key points of the argument, respectively.
coherence cohesion
Provide adequate support for each main point with well-developed elaborations or examples.
task achievement
Address all parts of the task, ensuring a full response to each question component and provision of a clear position throughout the response.
task achievement
Ideas should be presented clearly and developed comprehensively to maintain a strong argument throughout the essay.
task achievement
Use more relevant and specific examples to illustrate arguments and viewpoints effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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