IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

The cities and towns all over the world the high volume of traffic is a problem. What are the causes of this and what action can be taken to solve this problem.

#cities #towns #world #volume #traffic #action
No doubt, nowadays, individuals are facing
traffic
 problems in
the
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apply
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both modern cities
as well as
 in town.
Therefore
, there are a number of causes and solutions behind
this
 tendency which I will hash out in the
further
 paragraphs. For a start, several factors are associated with it, but the main one is that
,
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apply
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volume
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the volume
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 of
traffic
 is increasing at
a
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an
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 alarming rate
due to
 the lack of infrastructure development and limited alternative roads. To explain, all over the world
people
 face difficulties
to travel
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in travelling
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 from one place to another
due to
 the poor maintenance of roads because when rainfall
come
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comes
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 all the water
logged
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is logged
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 out on the road with
this
people
 prefer to slow their vehicle speed which leads to
traffic
 jams in the running cities.
Moreover
, in
this
 21st
century
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century,
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 the masses earn
high
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a high
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 amount of income from their
work places
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workplaces
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 which allow them to afford their personal cars
as well as
 it is a cultural preference to show a symbol of richness to other
people
 which
also
 promote
traffic
 jam. Moving
further
, there are a number of actions which can be taken to solve
this
 problem.
Firstly
, if government take
a
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apply
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strick
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strict
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 action to use public transport the problem could be solved
in
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to
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the
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apply
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some extent.
Secondly
, higher authorities
also
 invest some amount of money
on
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in
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 cycling or walking infrastructure and
promotes
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promote
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 cycling for a healthier
life style
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lifestyle
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 and eco-friendly travel options the problem could be solved.
For instance
,
the
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a
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 survey
can
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apply
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conducted
which
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apply
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concluded that 85 per cent of Korean residents are healthier because of following cycling
exercise
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exercises
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 as compared with other countries.
Lastly
,
government
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the government
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 should
also
 charge a fine to individuals to discourage unnecessary car usage.
To conclude
,
although
 nowadays in the nation
volume
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the volume
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 of
traffic
 is increasing,
yet
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apply
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it could be solved if
people
 adopt
traffic
 management
system
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systems
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 that use technology to optimise
traffic
 flow.
Submitted by svmaibcamaibs on

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coherence cohesion
Try to organize your thoughts and arguments into a more defined structure with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Ensure each paragraph contains one main idea and is expanded with supporting details, which will help in creating a logical flow throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion need to more clearly present your overall position and effectively summarize your main points. This will provide strong bookends to your essay and make the reader's journey through your argument more cohesive. Keep them both concise and focused on the main topic.
task achievement
Elaborate on main points with clear, relevant examples and explanations. Avoid vague statements and ensure each argument made is supported by specific examples or data where possible. This will strengthen your task achievement score by making your points more persuasive and credible.
task achievement
Your response, while addressing the task, needs to be fully developed to ensure a higher task achievement score. Try to provide complete answers to all facets of the question prompt, including the causes and a range of possible solutions, ensuring depth and breadth in your discussion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • urbanization
  • congested
  • infrastructure
  • public transportation
  • economic growth
  • carpooling
  • ride-sharing
  • congestion charges
  • cycling infrastructure
  • traffic management
  • eco-friendly
  • optimization
  • alternative routes
  • commuting
  • vehicle emissions
  • mass transit
  • urban planning
  • zoning regulations
  • sustainable development
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