Students should focus on learning in the classroom rather than show their status by wearing fashionable clothes. Therefore all students should wear school uniform. Do you agree or disagree
As globalization era technology and fashion trends are connected by social humans. It makes
public
concerned about the Correct article usage
the public
clothes
or the level of society which will make children
focus more on fashionable clothes
when they go to school
. Some people think that students should interested in the lesson rather than their appearance by wearing new clothes
and wearing school
uniforms
. In my view, there plays
a pivot advantage for a child and Verb problem
is
parents
in the same way.
To begin
with, wearing school
uniform
has a crucial role for Fix the agreement mistake
uniforms
children
and parents
. There is a symbol from the school
that can separate students from a
different Correct article usage
apply
academy
and Fix the agreement mistake
academies
grade
. It can save some money for Fix the agreement mistake
grades
parents
because the school
can control the reasonable price of uniforms
and easy
to wash and tend. Add a missing verb
is easy
Moreover
, kids do not have disagreements about clothes
or privilege
at Fix the agreement mistake
privileges
school
and teachers do not have to take care of them unfairly as well. Hence
a school
uniform
should be a good choice for children
that
do not have to worry and Correct pronoun usage
who
disturb
Wrong verb form
be disturbed
with
fashion or beauty Change preposition
by
standard
.
Fix the agreement mistake
standards
On the other hand
, school
uniforms
can be overwhelming for children
such
as old shirt
or old shoes because some families have low finances Fix the agreement mistake
shirts
that
they can not provide a new one for their kids.
Correct pronoun usage
apply
Also
, some children
can show power through a jewellery
or a gadget that separates a status.
Sometimes Remove the article
jewellery
a piece of jewellery
uniform
is prohibitively expensive because the authority want to make more profits from parents
and it is a hard situation like a published school
in my country. It will make a different status and level. So then
if a government does not take action or control that can affect their family and children
will not have opportunities to study or go to effective holistic education.
In conclusion, wearing uniform
has two sides at the same time but a government or authority should comprehend and encourage their people and support curriculum practical programs in the Ministry of Education. In my view, I agree that we should incite students to wear Add an article
a uniform
uniforms
that beneficial them and can preserve desirable traditional clothes
while
a child should focus more on the lesson in the class.Submitted by cherriess_cr on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
introduction conclusion present
The essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion. Ensure that these sections are distinct and effectively bookend the main body of your essay.
logical structure
Your ideas would benefit from a more logical and clear progression. Aim for a coherent structure that guides the reader smoothly from one point to the next.
supported main points
Include more specific examples and explanations to support your main points. This will add depth to your argument and make it more compelling.
complete response
While the response does address the prompt, work on fully developing your ideas and arguments to more comprehensively cover the task.
clear comprehensive ideas
Clarify your ideas by expanding on them and explaining how they relate to the main argument. Be as specific as possible to enhance comprehension and impact.
relevant specific examples
Incorporate pertinent and detailed examples to back your views. Examples should be relevant and strengthen your argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
