You have seen advertisement in an australian magazine for someone to live with a family for six months and look after their six-year-old child. Write a letter to the parents. In your latter Explain why you would like the job Give details of why would be a suitable person to employ Say how you would spend your free time while you are in Australia

#advertisement #australian #magazine #someone #six #months #child #parents #latter #job #person #time #australia

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Dear Sir/Madam, I am writing

this

letter to express my interest in the advertisement in Zara Magazine in Australia about taking care of a child and staying with their family.

Initially

, I had a bachelor’s of accounting from Cambridge University and I took three courses in a daycare.

Secondly

, I would be suitable for

this

job I have been looking after my nieces and nephews

therefore

, I know how to handle babies in the correct ways. I am preparing for the IELTS exam it would be a great way to improve my English language with the family especially speaking. I visited Australia to learn a language

Change preposition

apply

show examples

this

time, I would like to visit tourist attractions and explore Australian culture. I am looking forward to a positive response. Yours faithfully,

Submitted by luhana.chii on Tue Dec 12 2023

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Task Achievement

Ensure to address all parts of the task. While you have provided reasons for wanting the job and your suitability, you have not elaborated on how you would spend your free time, which was a requirement of the task.

Coherence and Cohesion

Work on connecting your ideas more coherently. Use a wider range of linking words and ensure that your paragraphs flow logically from one to the next.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

6 paragraphs

130 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Cultural exchange
Childcare
Adaptability
Nurturing
Pedagogical skills
Recreational activities
Domestic duties
First Aid certified
Homework assistance
Explore
Local customs
Interpersonal skills
Proactive
Enthusiastic
Responsible
CPR trained
Language acquisition
Sightseeing
Aussie lifestyle
Immerse

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

more and more people in their free time are doing dangerous activities such as mounting climbing. What might be the reason for this? Is this a positive or negative development?

Some feel that students should not have to take standardized tests in school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The illustrations show how chocolate is produced. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

Some people believe that the government should fund art and culture, while others think that it should only fund sciences. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Governments should support care vs. finance for retired people while others believe that they should save money when they get older. Discuss both views and give your opinion.