IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

You recently visited a foreign country and got some information at the Tourist Information Centre. The information given to you was wrong. Write a email to the center manager and explain: - What was the information required? - How was the wrong information provided?t - What problems did you have because of this?

#country #information #tourist #centre #email #center #manager
Dear Sir/Madam, I am writing
this
 letter to express my dissatisfaction with the wrong
information
 provided by your organization, Fly Tourist Center, during my visit to the Netherlands. Let me elaborate
this
Change preposition
on this
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 situation in detail. I approached your firm for
information
 about the Rotterdam museum visit timing on
21st
Correct article usage
the 21st
show examples
oOctober
Correct your spelling
October
 2023 ,
mMonday
Correct your spelling
Monday
. The assistant told me that the museum
will
Wrong verb form
would
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 be open
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the public from 9 am to 5 pm on
this
 day. Based on
this
information
, I reached the location around 2 pm;
however
,. But, it was closed. When I spoke to the person in a nearby shop, I understood that the museum will not be open on Mondays because of employees' weekly off.
This
 incorrect advice not only affected my travel schedule
,
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apply
show examples
 but
also
 impacted me economically. I decided to cancel some of the meetings that were planned on that
dayMonday
Correct your spelling
day Monday
,based on the suggestion given by your team.
In addition
, I had to catch a cab to reach in time, which cost me around $ 50.
Hence
 , I lost my time and money without any purpose. I request you to investigate
this
 matter and take necessary measures to ensure the accuracy of
information
 provided to future tourists. I look forward to seeing some actions being taken to solve
this
 issue. hearing from you. Yours faithfully, Unnikrishnan P
Submitted by unnikrishnanpp153 on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay demonstrates a level of structure that outlines your experience, however, it lacks a clear introductory sentence to set the context and a satisfying conclusion to wrap it up. The details you provided about your issue with the tourist information were relevant, but the logical progression between points could be improved for better coherence.
task achievement
While you address the prompt with a clear response, you could enhance your task achievement by offering a precise introduction that establishes the purpose of your email and clearly states the required information, how the wrong information was provided, and the problems caused. Concluding with a call to action could provide a clear resolution to the matter, strengthening the response to the task.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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