NOWADAYS YOUNG PEOPLE ARE LEAVING THEIR HOMES FROM RURAL AREAS TO STUDY OR WORK IN THE CITIES. WHY DOES THIS HAPPEN ? DO ADVANTAGES OF THE DEVELOPMENT OUTWEIGH ITS DISADVANTAGES?

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Due to
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the limited resources and underdeveloped infrastructure, youngsters are relocating from the countryside to megapolises in order to attain a profound education and a promising employment opportunity. As a direct result of globalization, the members of the young generation are encountering a multitude of impediments,
therefore
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, I think the drawbacks of
this
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trend will shadow the benefits associated. First of all,
due to
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the overcrowded population in large cities, air and water pollution are getting worse than ever.
For example
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, in Ha Noi capital, West Lake and To Lich
river
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River
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were totally destroyed as citizens have been discharging an incredible amount of pollutants every single day.
Moreover
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, in
this
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city, the air is always dark, full of dirt and dust, which affect negatively
on
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apply
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people’s health. The second downside of
this
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growing tendency is that people are getting compacted in densely populated
areas
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,
while
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a small percentage of more mature groups of people opt to remain in those
areas
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.
Such
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kind of erratic migration from villages to cities will impact the sectors that are popular in rural
areas
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, heavily striking farming, agriculture, and tourism sectors since there will be a lack of young people capable of handling these aforementioned works.
To conclude
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, undoubtedly, the availability of more financial and social opportunities in cities is the chief culprit that led to
this
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movement.
Although
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this
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might seem like an advantage at first sight, it has a devastating effect on the diversity of living spaces
as well as
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business sectors in village
areas
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by orkhanshamil on

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introduction conclusion present
Ensure that the introduction provides a clear background to the topic and outlines the essay structure. In this case, it should have included a thesis statement that directly addresses both parts of the question, including the advantages and disadvantages of rural to urban migration.
relevant specific examples
Include specific and relevant examples to support each point you make. In your current essay, the examples provided are not entirely relevant or fully developed to support the argument effectively. Use a wider range of examples, both in terms of type (statistical, anecdotal, from personal experience, etc.) and geography (examples from more than one city or country).
logical structure
Work on paragraph development and ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea, supporting sentences, and a concluding sentence. This helps in maintaining logical progression and coherence throughout the essay.
complete response
Adequately address all parts of the task. The essay should discuss both sides of the issue (advantages and disadvantages) and make clear comparisons as to why one outweighs the other. This comparison was insufficiently developed in the essay.
clear comprehensive ideas
Increase the clarity of your ideas by presenting them in a more organised way, making full use of paragraphing and cohesive devices. Avoid long sentences that may be hard to follow, and ensure that each paragraph's main point is clear and expanded upon with sufficient detail.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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