NOWADAYS YOUNG PEOPLE ARE LEAVING THEIR HOMES FROM RURAL AREAS TO STUDY OR WORK IN THE CITIES. WHY DOES THIS HAPPEN ? DO ADVANTAGES OF THE DEVELOPMENT OUTWEIGH ITS DISADVANTAGES?

Due to
the limited resources and underdeveloped infrastructure, youngsters are relocating from the countryside to megapolises in order to attain a profound education and a promising employment opportunity. As a direct result of globalization, the members of the young generation are encountering a multitude of impediments,
therefore
, I think the drawbacks of
this
trend will shadow the benefits associated. First of all,
due to
the overcrowded population in large cities, air and water pollution are getting worse than ever.
For example
, in Ha Noi capital, West Lake and To Lich
river
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River
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were totally destroyed as citizens have been discharging an incredible amount of pollutants every single day.
Moreover
, in
this
city, the air is always dark, full of dirt and dust, which affect negatively
on
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people’s health. The second downside of
this
growing tendency is that people are getting compacted in densely populated
areas
,
while
a small percentage of more mature groups of people opt to remain in those
areas
.
Such
kind of erratic migration from villages to cities will impact the sectors that are popular in rural
areas
, heavily striking farming, agriculture, and tourism sectors since there will be a lack of young people capable of handling these aforementioned works.
To conclude
, undoubtedly, the availability of more financial and social opportunities in cities is the chief culprit that led to
this
movement.
Although
this
might seem like an advantage at first sight, it has a devastating effect on the diversity of living spaces
as well as
business sectors in village
areas
.
Submitted by orkhanshamil on

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introduction conclusion present
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relevant specific examples
Include specific and relevant examples to support each point you make. In your current essay, the examples provided are not entirely relevant or fully developed to support the argument effectively. Use a wider range of examples, both in terms of type (statistical, anecdotal, from personal experience, etc.) and geography (examples from more than one city or country).
logical structure
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complete response
Adequately address all parts of the task. The essay should discuss both sides of the issue (advantages and disadvantages) and make clear comparisons as to why one outweighs the other. This comparison was insufficiently developed in the essay.
clear comprehensive ideas
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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
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