Many people believe that women make better parents than men and that is why they have the greater role in raising children in most societies. Others claim that men are just as good as women at parenting. Write an essay expressing your point of view. Give reasons for your answers and provide relevant example and experience you might have.
There
has
been Change the verb form
have
much
discussions regarding Change the quantifier
many
around
the Change preposition
apply
role
of guardians some consider females achieve
better parenting and Fix the infinitive
to achieve
as a result
,they have an intrinsict
value in Correct your spelling
intrinsic
bring
out the youngsters in Wrong verb form
bringing
society
,while
others consider fathers
can perform the same duties as well as
mothers
.These
essay will delve into the details of my opinion Correct determiner usage
This
around
Change preposition
on
this
topic in addition
to some elucidations in order to corporate
my point of view.
Verb problem
incorporate
To begin
with,there is no doubt, the
Correct word choice
that the
role
of mothers
is an
entirely different from the Change the article
apply
role
of fathers
in parenting. On account of the physiological component of females
they embrace their Add a comma
females,
children
as much as they can in a procedure to offer nourishing
for them. Replace the word
nourishment
Moreover
, meet
their needs.To illustrate Correct subject-verb agreement
meets
this
, the emotional hormones
level is very high in females , so women are urged to spend a great deal of time with their youths. Which is to Change the noun form
hormone
extent
caused by these hormones. Not only Correct article usage
an extent
this
,but the
Correct article usage
apply
breast feeding
contributes to Correct your spelling
breastfeeding
Correct article usage
an upsurge
upsurge
Wrong verb form
upsurging
the
emotional Change preposition
in the
realtionships
between Correct your spelling
relationships
mothers
and children
. Hence
, the dogma of children
is greatly influenced by mothers
Change noun form
mothers'
mother's
view
. Fix the agreement mistake
views
Therefore
, the mothers
usually puzzle their brain
in order to extract Fix the agreement mistake
brains
the
suitable and reasonable ideas and provide their Correct article usage
apply
children
with these notions. So as the aforementioned elaborations on
it seems to me that the effects of Change preposition
apply
mothers
in raising the
Correct article usage
apply
children
in society
are very valuable.
Regarding the role
of fathers
, there is no way to ignore the impact of fathers
in parenting as well as
up his daughters and sons in society
.while
it's believed by some that fathers
usually struggle with testsom
job owing to offering a delighted life for their Correct your spelling
tests
children
, I am inclined to think neither. In this
, the fathers
don't spend a great deal of time with their children
. So, what the mothers
have to is
compensate Add a missing verb
do is
this
absence. Change preposition
for this
Accordingly
, the youths appeal to follow their mothers
recommendations. By dint of the given reason, the Change noun form
mother's
mothers'
children
mimic their mothers
attitude. Change to a genitive case
mother's
mothers'
Consequently
, this
will reflect directly on the children
Change noun form
children's
behaviors
in Change the spelling
behaviours
society
.
In a nutshell, after a thorough analysis of the mentioned topic, it is predicted that bringing up the
Correct article usage
apply
children
in society
is partially due to
the role
of mothers
in parenting which is
can not be performed by Unnecessary verb
apply
fathers
. Therefore
,fathers
are not as good as mothers
in parenting.Submitted by nadeenelkenawy4425 on
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coherence cohesion
The essay presents some form of logical structure but the coherence is significantly hampered by grammatical inaccuracies, malapropism, and unclear phrasing. The introduction and conclusion are present but both are lacking in clarity and do not adequately encapsulate the main points or the writer's viewpoint. It is essential to construct sentences that accurately convey the intended meaning and use linking words and phrases to create a cohesive argument.
task achievement
Concerning the task achievement, the essay attempts to address the prompt by presenting a viewpoint. However, the response is marred by a lack of clear and comprehensive ideas, which detracts from the delivery of a compelling argument. Relevant examples are mentioned but they are not fully developed. The repeated grammatical errors throughout the essay also inhibit the clarity of the response. To enhance the task response score, ensure that the ideas are properly developed, examples are expanded upon to support the argument, and grammatical accuracy is maintained throughout the essay.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example