In many parts of the world today there is a profitable market for products which lighten or whiten people's skin.Outline the reasons for using such products and discuss what effects they have in terms of health and society.Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.
It is true that nowadays
people
pay more attention to their self-regulation, in particular
, they put emphasis on the color
of Change the spelling
colour
Correct pronoun usage
their skin
skin
. Towards Correct pronoun usage
their skin
this
issue, people
stand
on different Correct pronoun usage
who stand
ground
will give completely different views. Fix the agreement mistake
grounds
Whereas
, I will analyze this
situation from many aspects as follows.
To begin
with, there are several reasons why more and more people
choose to turn their skin
into white. Firstly
, It maybe
the change of aesthetic concept and can be Correct your spelling
may be
owed
to a vast array of television programmes. The characters in it are all very white and thin, Verb problem
attributed
then
from a long time influences, white and thin are the judgements of beauty
of a person will leave a foundation in their mind.
Add an article
the beauty
Secondly
, people
live a better life than in the past. The more money they earn, the more chances of investing themselves they will get. Only because they gain much more income, they have power
to do things they like, especially take care of their Change the article
the power
skin
.
Then
I would like to share some effects that this
issue will bring with
. The first one Correct pronoun usage
with it
maybe
its Correct your spelling
may be
impacts
on Fix the agreement mistake
impact
people
's health. This
technology has developed in recents
years, Correct your spelling
recent
in other words
, noboday
can ensure if it will benefit Correct your spelling
nobody
people
or not do harm to them. Actually, it is not mature.
Besides
, this
product does not like anyother
things just Correct your spelling
any other
stay
on the surface of your Correct subject-verb agreement
stays
skin
, it is more like Correct article usage
a vaccinate
vaccinate
and Replace the word
vaccination
finally
go
into your body. Correct subject-verb agreement
goes
It
Correct pronoun usage
There
exists
risks. The second one is for society. Admittedly, Correct subject-verb agreement
exist
exaggerate
the usage of Wrong verb form
exaggerating
this
white products may lead Correct determiner usage
these
Change preposition
to the
the
terrible atmosphere in daily life, what Correct article usage
a
people
really need to pursue is the
normal healthy beauty.
In conclusion, for Correct article usage
apply
this
product, people
should see it from many perspectives and do
Verb problem
make
right
Correct article usage
the right
chioce
.Correct your spelling
choice
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coherence cohesion
Ensure logical organization of ideas, maintaining clear progression throughout the essay. Better structuring of paragraphs with clear topic sentences will enhance coherence.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider range of linking words and cohesive devices to better connect ideas and paragraphs, enhancing the overall flow of the essay.
task achievement
Fully address all parts of the task, providing a balanced discussion of reasons and effects with a clear position throughout the response. Expand on the response to meet task requirements comprehensively.
task achievement
Develop ideas clearly and comprehensively, providing more detail and explanation for each point made. Elaborate on the ideas with relevant examples to support them fully.
task achievement
Use specific examples from knowledge or experience to back up points, ensuring relevance and further illustrating ideas. This adds depth to the essay and demonstrates a thorough understanding of the topic.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.