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Writing Samples
Band 6

The chart below shows what Anthropology graduates from one university ald after finishing their undergraduate degree course. The table shows the salaries of the anthropologists in work after five years. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows what Anthropology graduates from one university ald after finishing their undergraduate degree course. The table shows the salaries of the anthropologists in work after five years. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#anthropology #graduates #university #ald #course #salaries #anthropologists #work #five #years #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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the pie
chart
Use synonyms
 illustrates the destination of Anthropology graduates after Passing related Courses,
Linking Words
also
Correct word choice
and also
show examples
 the
depicts
Verb problem
apply
show examples
rate of anthropology
incomes
Fix the agreement mistake
income
show examples
after
Change preposition
apply
show examples
five years
since
Change preposition
after
show examples
 their graduation from a particular university.
Overall
Linking Words
, as
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can be seen, the greatest segment of
pie
Add an article
the pie
a pie
show examples
chart
Use synonyms
 is occupied
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
 the graduated students, who have
full time
Add a hyphen
full-time
show examples
 work,
whereas
Linking Words
, The lowest level of
pie
Correct article usage
the pie
show examples
chart
Use synonyms
belong
Correct subject-verb agreement
belongs
show examples
 to those individuals, who Find
Part time
Add a hyphen
Part-time
show examples
 work
besides
Linking Words
 postgraduated Study.
According to
Linking Words
 the given table, about 50% of
people
Use synonyms
, who choose to be a member of the government Sector have more than $100, 00 wage over a period of five years, whilst the number of
people
Use synonyms
 whose , salaries are between 25000
to
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 49,999 is Just 5%.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, Most of the
people
Use synonyms
,who work as an employee for private companies receive a Salary between 50,000 to 74,999 (%35), whilst the quantity of staff who get more than 100,000 per month is 30%.
To sum up
Linking Words
, Turning to the
chart
Use synonyms
, less than half of undergraduate anthropology tend to have another form of job, and 8% of these
people
Use synonyms
 hate obscure positions.
Submitted by amirshajarizadeh on

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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words chart, people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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