Some people think that cooking is an important skill for young people to learn. Others believe that it is better for people to learn how to cook after they become adults. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Nowadays, cooking is an essential skill for
people
to learn since
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
we need to
cook
for our meals
due to
human needs. Some say that
people
should be able to
cook
since they were young.
However
, others consider
the
Correct your spelling
that
show examples
culinary
skills
should be gained when they
grown
Wrong verb form
grow
show examples
up. I believe the young ones shouldn't
cook
by themselves because of safety concerns. On the one hand, Some say that young
people
should learn how to
cook
because there are some situations
Change preposition
in that
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
the
youngers
Correct your spelling
youngsters
show examples
need to
cook
their meals by themselves.
For instance
, they will know how to choose the vital groceries or ingredients and they will know how to design the dishes when they are running out of food or money as they know many approaches to
cook
their meals.
On the other hand
,
people
opposing the idea think that becoming
Correct article usage
an adults
show examples
adults
Fix the agreement mistake
adult
show examples
is a better time to acquire cooking
skills
because
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
young
people
should spend their precious time focusing on
study in
Wrong verb form
studying
show examples
academic subjects more than
get-to-know
Correct your spelling
learning
show examples
how to
cook
.
Likewise
, the youngsters have no expertise in using kitchenware and might cause a serious accident if they're not using it the right way. In conclusion,
people
who
learning
Wrong verb form
learn
show examples
culinary
skills
when they
grown
Wrong verb form
grow
show examples
up are better than young
people
learning cooking
skills
because of mature decision-making and hardware expertise. Maturity and experience will make
less
Correct pronoun usage
you less
show examples
prone to
accident
Fix the agreement mistake
accidents
show examples
.
Submitted by taokhampaen on

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task achievement
It appears that the essay structure is not fully clear, with the introduction lacking a strong thesis statement that would provide insight into the writer's opinion. Ensure that your introduction includes a clear statement of your position on the topic to guide the reader through your subsequent points.
task achievement
Develop your main points with specific examples and explanations to substantiate your arguments. The essay mentions general ideas without delving deeply into them with concrete examples or detailed reasoning, which is essential for a strong score.
coherence cohesion
Focus on creating paragraphs with clear central ideas and use cohesive devices effectively to link them together. Each paragraph should have a clear topic sentence followed by supporting sentences that elaborate on that topic. Transitions between paragraphs need to be smooth and logical, with overall progression from one idea to the next.
task achievement
Ensure you address all parts of the task equally, the essay should give a balanced discussion of both views before presenting your opinion. In this essay, the presentation of opposing views is not equal, with the second view being given less development than the first.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Culinary skills
  • Life skill
  • Independence
  • Healthy eating
  • Cultural heritage
  • Resource allocation
  • Academic priorities
  • Nutritional awareness
  • Self-sufficiency
  • Refinement of skills
  • Advanced techniques
  • Practicality
  • Lifestyle adaptations
  • Foundational knowledge
  • Curriculum
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