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Band 5.5

In the past, people lived in one place for a long time , but now they can live in many different places what are the reasons ? Is this positive or negative development ?

#people #place #time #places #development
In the past,
people
 tended to live in one place for most of their lives.
However
, today,
people
 are more mobile than ever before. There are several reasons why
people
 now live in many different
places
. One reason is that advances in transportation and communication have made it easier for
people
 to
move
 around.
For example
,
airplanes
Change the spelling
aeroplanes
show examples
, trains, and cars have made it possible for
people
 to travel long distances quickly and easily. The internet and social media have
also
 made it easier for
people
 to stay connected with friends and family, no matter where they are in the world. Another reason why
people
 now live in many different
places
 is that they are looking for better job opportunities or a higher standard of living.
For example
, some
people
move
 to different cities or countries to find work in their field or to earn a higher salary. Others
move
 to
places
 with better schools or healthcare systems.
While
 there are many benefits to living in many different
places
, there are
also
 some drawbacks.
For example
, moving around a lot can be stressful and disruptive. It can be difficult to establish roots and build strong relationships when you are constantly on the
move
.
Additionally
, living in different
places
 can make it difficult to maintain a sense of identity or belonging. In my opinion, whether living in many different
places
 is a positive or negative development depends on the individual. For some
people
, living in many different
places
 can be a great way to broaden their horizons and gain new experiences. For others, it can be stressful and disruptive. Ultimately, it is up to each person to decide what is best for them.
Submitted by dangthaison07102009 on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay demonstrates a clear structure with an introduction, some development of ideas, and a conclusion. However, the logical flow between points could be improved by better connecting your sentences and using a wider range of linking words and cohesive devices. Aim to make your transitions smoother and your argumentation more compelling.
task achievement
You addressed both parts of the task, discussing reasons for living in many different places as well as its positive and negative aspects. Nonetheless, your response could be further developed with more specific examples and details. In particular, your conclusion would benefit from a stronger personal stance or summary. To achieve a higher band, extend and elaborate on your points with specific, relevant examples and make sure to directly answer the question by stating whether the development is positive or negative, with clear explanations supporting your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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