Some people think that it is a good idea to socialize with work colleagues during evenings and weekends. Other people think it is important to keep working life completely separate from social life. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

The discussion of utilizing weekends and
evening
Fix the agreement mistake
evenings
show examples
after
office
is surely one that begs the question of how it could yield an outcome. In my opinion,
due to
rising conflicting ideas in an
office
and competition, asserting that separating the
office
life
with
Change preposition
from
show examples
social will be the most apropos choice. One ostensible
fact
is that people generally develop great bonding within the
office
if they meet together after
office
Correct article usage
the office
show examples
or
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
weekends.
This
can be delineated well
while
referring
how
Change preposition
to how
show examples
well they make a good friendship and make each other's life easier in the
office
. Take
for instance
a person spending most of their leisure time with of their
colleauge
Correct your spelling
colleague
colleagues
shows a sign of happiness in
office
Add an article
the office
show examples
.
Therefore
, if analyzed properly, there is no ambivalent feeling to say that
Correct your spelling
colleague
colleauge
Correct your spelling
colleagues
interacting on weekends and after
office
Add an article
the office
show examples
is the only resort to achieve joyness in
a
Change the article
an
show examples
office
Nevertheless
, it is argued that
such
phenomenon
Correct article usage
a phenomenon
show examples
introduces an
idea
Correct your spelling
ideal
show examples
confliction
Replace the word
conflict
show examples
situation in the
office
. The argument stems from
fact
Add an article
the fact
show examples
that involved
person
Fix the agreement mistake
persons
show examples
, when in
a
Change the article
an
show examples
office
, took each other
granted
Change preposition
for granted
show examples
where
Correct word choice
and
show examples
each
presume
Wrong verb form
presumed
show examples
that
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
will
Wrong verb form
would
show examples
never complain even if they
are
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
unhappy.
For example
, it is often seen that
colleauges
Correct your spelling
colleagues
turned friend happen to be in
cold
Add an article
a cold
show examples
war situation to make their opinion getting agreed.
Thus
, based on
this
reason, it is not a
far-feteched
Correct your spelling
far-fetched
conclusion to say
such
concept
Correct article usage
a concept
show examples
exacerbate
Correct subject-verb agreement
exacerbates
show examples
the
office
enviroment
Correct your spelling
environment
.
Overall
, I still opine that separating
proffession
Correct your spelling
profession
professional
with
Change preposition
from
show examples
social
Replace the word
society
show examples
Add a missing verb
is
show examples
completely reprehensible to avoid unintentional
competion
Correct your spelling
competition
getting
devloped
Correct your spelling
developed
. Another reason comes from
fact
Add an article
the fact
show examples
that
such
group members always want to get more than
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
which indirectly paves the way for competition.
Nonetheless
, avoiding
such
concept
Correct article usage
a concept
show examples
would help make one's work life miserable as they would not get perfect assistance to cover their need
due to
professional bonding
To conclude
, both sides present a paradox. Some people claim that spending time with
colleauge
Correct your spelling
colleagues
colleague
is a great idea
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
concrete bonding
ad
Correct your spelling
and
show examples
office
happiness.
However
, there is no argument
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
the
fact
that
this
can lead to situation of competitive
envrionment
Correct your spelling
environment
and more ideas under
confliction
Replace the word
conflict
show examples
.
Submitted by suresh.sssingh.singh984 on

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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear logical structure, with ideas being presented in a somewhat disjointed and confusing manner. Aim to present information in a more orderly fashion, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and follow logically from one to the next.
coherence cohesion
Though there is an attempt to introduce and conclude the essay, the opening and concluding statements are weak and fail to effectively encapsulate the essay's main points or the writer's stance. Work on crafting a clear thesis statement and a concise conclusion that summarizes the discussions and reaffirms your position.
coherence cohesion
Main points are touched upon but lack depth and full development. Support your claims with more detailed explanations, logic, and, where applicable, illustrative examples. This will add weight to your arguments and make them more compelling.
task achievement
The response does not fulfill all elements of the task. Ensure that you discuss both views presented in the prompt equally and clearly state your own opinion. This completion is necessary to fulfill the task achievement criteria.
task achievement
Your essay's ideas are not expressed clearly or comprehensively. Strive for clarity by using simple, precise language and ensuring that your points are articulated fully without ambiguity.
task achievement
There's a lack of relevant and specific examples to support the claims. Incorporating such examples is crucial as they add credibility to your argument and demonstrate your understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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