family members and friends caring for elderly people find it hard to spend enough time looking after them. what are the causes of this problem? what solutions can you suggest?

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In some extended
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
, members are living with their grandmother and father
that
Correct word choice
and
show examples
it may
need straggling
Verb problem
struggle
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to take care
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
them, because of their
limitation
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limitations
show examples
and disabilities, so the family should make some
change
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changes
show examples
to protect them. Now I elaborate
reason
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on reason
show examples
and solutions here. The main reason that
appear
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appears
show examples
with caring elderly is the mental and physical features that will
be exist
Change the verb form
exist
show examples
in old age;
for
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
they cannot do their simple personal task or do
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
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too
slow
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slowly
show examples
and
this
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due to
Linking Words
needing
others
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others'
other's
show examples
help
Add the particle
to help
show examples
and
usualy
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usually
that makes others angry.
In addition
Linking Words
, elderly
people
Use synonyms
Sometimes must have a special diet or
involved
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are involved
show examples
with
dieses
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diseases
and weakness so
people
Use synonyms
should look after them with medication, drugs and other continuous treatments and
this
Linking Words
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
show examples
to getting much time from younger and they face to
lake
Correct your spelling
lack
show examples
of time to pay for children or themselves. In my opinion, these issues may
resolve
Wrong verb form
be resolved
show examples
in two ways.
Firstly
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, all
people
Use synonyms
should be educated about their senility and how can decline the disablement effects by
doing
Unnecessary verb
apply
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exercise and having
healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy
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life style
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lifestyle
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and
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apply
show examples
also
Linking Words
they should learn how to help and care
elderly
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for elderly
show examples
people
Use synonyms
;
consequently
Linking Words
it
make
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makes
show examples
a shorter old age with
Correct article usage
a
show examples
better prognosis.
Secondly
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, if families employ a professional nurse to care
about
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for
show examples
elderly
people
Use synonyms
, they would have more free time to do their work
furthermore
Linking Words
aged would take more beneficial caring. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
looking after
aged
Correct article usage
the aged
show examples
may seem a tension, because of their disabilities and requisites
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
special attention,
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
with teaching and education about
aging
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ageing
show examples
or
hire
Wrong verb form
hiring
show examples
a nurse ,
Linking Words
this
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
will be
easer
Correct your spelling
easier
show examples
.
Submitted by elahehghazanfari93 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay lacks clear and logical structuring. Ideas should be more coherently presented and organized into distinct paragraphs. Focus on creating a smooth progression from one paragraph to another by using transitional phrases and clear topic sentences that set out the main idea of each paragraph.
Task Achievement
Your essay partially addresses the task, but your response must be developed further. You should delve deeper into the causes and solutions, providing clearer and more detailed explanations. Specific examples would make your arguments stronger and more convincing. Be sure to fully address all parts of the prompt.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • demanding work schedules
  • flexible working hours
  • remote work options
  • geographical distance
  • frequent communication
  • relocation
  • adequate care
  • training programs
  • workshops
  • financial constraints
  • financial assistance programs
  • tax benefits
  • emotional and physical stress
  • support groups
  • respite care services
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