family members and friends caring for elderly people find it hard to spend enough time looking after them. what are the causes of this problem? what solutions can you suggest?
In some extended better prognosis.
family
, members are living with their grandmother and father Fix the agreement mistake
families
that
it may Correct word choice
and
need straggling
to take care Verb problem
struggle
about
them, because of their Change preposition
of
limitation
and disabilities, so the family should make some Fix the agreement mistake
limitations
change
to protect them. Now I elaborate Fix the agreement mistake
changes
reason
and solutions here.
The main reason that Change preposition
on reason
appear
with caring elderly is the mental and physical features that will Change the verb form
appears
be exist
in old age; Change the verb form
exist
for
example
they cannot do their simple personal task or do Add a comma
example,
it
too Correct pronoun usage
them
slow
and Change the word
slowly
this
due to
needing others
Change noun form
others'
other's
help
and Add the particle
to help
usualy
that makes others angry. Correct your spelling
usually
In addition
, elderly people
Sometimes must have a special diet or involved
with Add a missing verb
are involved
dieses
and weakness so Correct your spelling
diseases
people
should look after them with medication, drugs and other continuous treatments and this
lead
to getting much time from younger and they face to Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
lake
of time to pay for children or themselves.
In my opinion, these issues may Correct your spelling
lack
resolve
in two ways. Wrong verb form
be resolved
Firstly
, all people
should be educated about their senility and how can decline the disablement effects by doing
exercise and having Unnecessary verb
apply
healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy
life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
and
Correct word choice
apply
also
they should learn how to help and care elderly
Change preposition
for elderly
people
; consequently
it make
a shorter old age withChange the verb form
makes
Correct article usage
a
Secondly
, if families employ a professional nurse to care about
elderly Change preposition
for
people
, they would have more free time to do their work furthermore
aged would take more beneficial caring.
In conclusion, although
looking after aged
may seem a tension, because of their disabilities and requisites Correct article usage
the aged
to
special attention, Change preposition
for
but
with teaching and education about Correct word choice
apply
aging
or Change the spelling
ageing
hire
a nurse , Wrong verb form
hiring
this
will be Correct pronoun usage
apply
easer
.Correct your spelling
easier
Submitted by elahehghazanfari93 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay lacks clear and logical structuring. Ideas should be more coherently presented and organized into distinct paragraphs. Focus on creating a smooth progression from one paragraph to another by using transitional phrases and clear topic sentences that set out the main idea of each paragraph.
Task Achievement
Your essay partially addresses the task, but your response must be developed further. You should delve deeper into the causes and solutions, providing clearer and more detailed explanations. Specific examples would make your arguments stronger and more convincing. Be sure to fully address all parts of the prompt.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!