Some people think young people should follow the traditions of their society. Others think that they should be free to behave as individuals. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

It is believed that the
traditions
of their society should be followed by young
people
.
While
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
many
people
think that it is free for teenagers to make their own choice as individuals. In my point of view, both are reasonable
in particular
cases. Young
people
should follow
traditions
because it can bring many advantages for them.
First,
it’s clear that tradition helps maintain the characteristics of society. As you know,
traditions
begin from their ancestors who conclude many social principles when behaving, customs and even costumes.
Therefore
,
traditions
can reflect the features and values of society.
Moreover
, because tradition is the conclusion about
life
Correct article usage
the life
show examples
experiences of their ancestors, young
people
can learn a lot of useful knowledge which will be very useful in the future. If young
people
are too immersed in their individuality, they will make many unnecessary mistakes and have to suffer from the consequences of these useless decisions. Becoming more individual
also
brings many advantages. Because some
traditions
from the past are too conservative or not suitable for recently.
In particular
, in the past VietNam had a very bad tradition of gender imbalance.
However
, now, it is removed because of the woman’s growing awareness and demands for individual freedom and respect.
Furthermore
,today, youngsters tend to be individuals.
Besides
their
traditions
, youngsters are finding some cultures of other countries which are more modern and progressive than their countries. It will help their life be easier and more interesting. In conclusion, young
people
should follow
traditions
to learn many life experiences from their ancestors to not make mistakes.
Besides
, some
traditions
are too conservative which youngsters should ignore and be more individual.
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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
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Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

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Linking words for giving examples:

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  • such as
  • namely
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  • take, for example

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