IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 0.5

Some people believe that international sporting events are the ideal opportunity to show the world the qualities of the hosting nation. Others believe that these events are mainly a large unjustifiable expense. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #events #opportunity #show #world #qualities #nation #expense
In my opinion, I agree with the point. International sporting events have to give the opportunity
tos
Correct your spelling
to
 countries - no one knew - to announce themself.
Besides
, Those are
also
 expected to be economic increases.
For example
, The Seoul Olympics - which takes place in the Republic of Korea - has the biggest announcement event itself and
that is
Submitted by sbg8812 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion, which are essential components of a well-structured IELTS essay. Make sure to include them in your writing to frame your arguments and summarize your points effectively.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay lacks full development of ideas and a logical flow, which are key for the reader to follow and understand your points of view. Use clear and logical sequencing of your ideas, with appropriate linking words to guide your reader through your arguments.
Task Achievement
Your essay does not address the prompt fully. It is essential that your essay provides a clear response to the task, with a clear position throughout your response, relevant to the question posed.
Task Achievement
There are incomplete sentences and thoughts which make it difficult to understand your position. Aim to express your ideas fully and clearly so that each point is well-developed and explained.
Task Achievement
The use of specific examples is good, but they need to be fully explained and clearly connected to your argument to effectively support your view. Make sure to elaborate on examples to demonstrate how they reinforce your stance on the topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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