You work for an international company. You have seen an advertisement for a training course which will be useful for your job. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter, describe the training course you want to do explain what the company could do to help you say how the course will be useful for your job Write at least 150 words.

#work #company #advertisement #course #job #manager

Dear Felycia, I am Andrianto. I am one of your

employee

Fix the agreement mistake

employees

show examples

marketing

Add an article

the marketing

show examples

division. I am writing

this

letter because

saw an advertisement for a

course

about improving sales.

Therefore

want to ask permission to join

this

course

This

course

is not free, so

hope that

company

Correct article usage

the company

show examples

could help

all

Change preposition

with all

show examples

charges

Correct article usage

the charges

show examples

for

this

course

Although

this

course

is not free,

but

Remove the conjunction

apply

show examples

the fee is reasonable. I will not go to work because

this

course

will be on next

monday

Change the capitalization

Monday

show examples

, so

hope you get me permission. I think

this

course

can bring a lot of benefits

for

Change preposition

show examples

your company. One of

Correct article usage

the benefit

show examples

benefit

Fix the agreement mistake

benefits

show examples

is our skill marketing improving and our sales

also

increase

Wrong verb form

increased

show examples

which

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

is good for your company.

Although

am one only join

this

course

will share and teach what

get from

this

course

. I hope you

accepted

Wrong verb form

show examples

and give me permission to join

this

course

. If you need more information about

this

course

, please let me know. Yours faithfully, Andrianto Raharja

Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on Thu Dec 14 2023

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coherence cohesion

You should provide a clear introductory paragraph, explaining the purpose of the letter. Also ensure that each paragraph contains a single clear idea and transitions smoothly between paragraphs for better readability.

task achievement

Ensure that you fully address all parts of the task. The letter must clearly explain the training course, how it could benefit the company, and what specific support you are seeking from your manager. Include more detail about the course and its relevance to your job.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Grammar mistakes
 

7 paragraphs

169 words

4.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

professional development
training course
skillset enhancement
educational leave
sponsorship
reimbursement
knowledge integration
work efficiency
career progression
continuing education
team contribution
productivity boost
expertise building
industry standards
hands-on experience
networking opportunities
cutting-edge techniques
best practices
return on investment
in-house training

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Raising children is one of the most important missions for many countries. It is recently updated that new mothers and new fathers should take trainings before getting a child. To what extent do you agree ?

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