In schools and universities, girls tend to choose arts, while boys like science. what are the reasons for this trend and do you think this tendency should be changed?
It is admittedly true that
,
Most of Remove the comma
apply
Add an article
the girls
girls
Change noun form
girls'
girl's
students
are choosing
Wrong verb form
choose
arts
subjects, while
boys
like Correct article usage
the boys
tecnology
. In my opinion, Correct your spelling
technology
this
trend should be changed. In this
essay, I will discuss about
Remove the preposition
apply
students
subject
choosing trend
.
In Fix the agreement mistake
trends
this
recent era, Art
subject
is more popular among girls
than boys
which has several reasons for the girl's side. Firsly
, Correct your spelling
Firstly
girls
like to do art
, drowing
, writing, Correct your spelling
drawing
Correct word choice
and degine
degine
Correct your spelling
define
whereas
most of
Change preposition
apply
boys
activity
Fix the agreement mistake
activities
totaly
Correct your spelling
totally
diffrent
Correct your spelling
different
field
Fix the agreement mistake
fields
such
as sports, technology, science so
on. For the Correct word choice
and so
diffrent
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different
Correct your spelling
interest
interast
they might Add a comma
interast,
be choose
Change the verb form
choose
diffrent
subjects. Correct your spelling
different
Moreover
, a girl choose
Change the verb form
chooses
trenddy
Correct your spelling
trendy
subject
only for her comforness
because most Correct your spelling
comforters
of
Change preposition
apply
science
Correct article usage
the science
deparmental
class has too many Correct your spelling
department
boys
whereas
a girl might be not comfortable that is
why they choose arts
. Correct article usage
the arts
Furthermore
, mostly
Correct your spelling
most
boys
want to take challange
and Correct your spelling
challenges
also
they do no
like to do Correct your spelling
not
art
that is
why they choose science.
In school
and universities Fix the agreement mistake
schools
art
department Correct article usage
the art
sutudens
are Correct your spelling
students
girls
whereas
boys
persentages
Correct your spelling
percentages
percentage
few
which Correct article usage
a few
Add a missing verb
is inconvinean
inconvinean
for Correct your spelling
incontinent
socity
. Correct your spelling
society
firstly
, after graduation from arts
Correct article usage
the arts
department
most of Add a comma
department,
students
Add an article
the students
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
girls
where
employment were choose Correct word choice
whereas
girls
mostly and they also
might be think this
subject
only for girls
not for boys
which can be bad
effect Correct article usage
a bad
for
Change preposition
on
arts
graduated boy students
. As a result
, it is not only Correct article usage
an unemloyment
unemloyment
problem but Correct your spelling
unemployment
also
economecal
problem for that country.
Correct your spelling
economical
To sum up
, education is a backbon
for a nation where it is for Correct your spelling
backbone
evereyone
. A Correct your spelling
everyone
sebject
or a Correct your spelling
subject
spesific
department can not Correct your spelling
specific
mejar
gender. Correct your spelling
major
student
can choose any Fix the agreement mistake
Students
subject
but parents and theacher
should be Correct your spelling
teachers
teacher
consaltenc
why the student choose Correct your spelling
consistent
this
spesific
Correct your spelling
specific
subject
.Submitted by cifawam391 on
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coherence cohesion
Your essay lacks a clear and logical structure, which makes it difficult to follow your argument. Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. In the introduction, present the topic and your thesis statement. Each body paragraph should contain one main idea, supported by examples or explanations. In conclusion, summarize your main points and restate your thesis in light of the arguments made.
task achievement
The ideas presented are somewhat repetitive and there's a significant lack of development in your arguments. You need to present clear and comprehensive ideas, each supported by relevant examples or evidence. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and that your examples are directly related to the topic. Avoid general statements and strive to provide specific instances or case studies that illustrate your points.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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