should long term job seekers in receipt of government benefits be made to do voluntary work so that they can give something back to the community?

#term #job #seekers #receipt #government #work #community

this

modern world, I think nothing is free, if you want

someting

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something

then

you have to do some

scrificies

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sacrifices

. Some

individulas

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individuals

say that

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apply

show examples

people

who want to do

long term

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long-term

show examples

job's

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jobs

show examples

have to do

voluntry

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voluntary

work

if they want

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to receipt

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receipt

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receive

show examples

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apply

show examples

goverment

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government

benefits. I think it's not true, which

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is explaine

show examples

explaine

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explained

explains

explain

subsequent

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the subsequent

a subsequent

show examples

paragraph. First and foremost, many

unemloyment

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unemployment

people

are wondering about

long term

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long-term

show examples

job's

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jobs

show examples

but in

this

modern world, it's very difficult to get that kind of

job

people

who do not have

job's

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jobs

show examples

become

burden

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a burden

show examples

to the country as they enjoy

goverments

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government

governments

benefits without any contribution

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show examples

community

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the community

show examples

. Funds which can be used in building

schols

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schools

, gardens, and many more places

beacause

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because

of unemployed

people

it's

waeken

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wasted

Beacuse

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Because

, they don't pay any taxes which

damage

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damages

show examples

Correct article usage

the goverment

show examples

goverment

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government

and

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the country

show examples

country

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country's

show examples

economy in several ways.

Fuurthermore

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Furthermore

, a person who

satyed

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stayed

long from

work

job

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a job

show examples

they

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apply

show examples

become less

confidence

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confident

show examples

and

stressfull

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stressful

However

, if they do some charity

work

such

build

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building

show examples

constraction

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construction

or helping

handicap

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handicapped

show examples

childrens

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children

show examples

, which

help

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helps

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to build some confidence in them.

Morever

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Moreover

this

charity

work

also

help to learn new skills and help to build

connection

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a connection

show examples

with

potencial

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potential

employer which help to secure

job

and stand out on their feet

agin

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again

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show examples

Correct your spelling

conclusion

conclution

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conclusion

, it can said that

make

Wrong verb form

making

show examples

unemployment

Replace the word

unemployed

show examples

Correct your spelling

individuals

individulas

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individuals

Fix the infinitive

apply

show examples

work

forcefullyit

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forcefully

forcefully it

can help them to be confident and make them keep

the

Change the word

their

show examples

job

Fix the agreement mistake

jobs

show examples

, which could benefit

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

Correct your spelling

both

show examples

boh

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both

show examples

society and

government

Correct article usage

the government

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Community’s feedback

Submitted by patelprem9787 on Thu Dec 14 2023

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coherence cohesion

You should focus on improving your logical structuring of ideas throughout the essay. Ideas should flow naturally from one to the next, which will enhance the overall clarity and effectiveness of your argument.

coherence cohesion

Work on forming clear introductions and conclusions. The introduction should outline the main argument or points that will be discussed, and the conclusion should summarize them effectively.

coherence cohesion

Further develop your main points with specific, detailed examples. Each main point should be clearly stated and then expanded upon with evidence or examples that support it.

task achievement

Ensure that your essay fully addresses all parts of the task prompt. Each point you make should be relevant to the initial question and work towards completing a thorough response.

task achievement

Work on presenting your ideas more clearly and comprehensively. Consider organizing your thoughts in a manner that makes your argument easy to follow and understand.

task achievement

Use relevant examples to support your claims. Make sure that these examples are specific and directly related to the points being made, as this will strengthen your arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
61Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

239 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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should long term job seekers in receipt of government benefits be made to do voluntary work so that they can give something back to the community?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Topic. In many cities, planners tend to arrange shops, schools, offices and homes in specific areas and separate them from each other. Do you think the advantages of this policy outweigh the disadvantages ?

In some cities public parks and open spaces are being changed into gardens where local residents can grow their own fruit and vegetables. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages ?

Some people believe that it is good to share as much as information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to shared freely.

Some believe that modern technology is increasing the gap between rich and poor people, while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.