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Band 3

should long term job seekers in receipt of government benefits be made to do voluntary work so that they can give something back to the community?

#term #job #seekers #receipt #government #work #community
In
this
 modern world, I think nothing is free, if you want
someting
Correct your spelling
something
then
 you have to do some
scrificies
Correct your spelling
sacrifices
. Some
individulas
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individuals
 say that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
people
 who want to do
long term
Add a hyphen
long-term
show examples
job's
Change noun form
jobs
show examples
 have to do
voluntry
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voluntary
work
 if they want
Fix the infinitive
to receipt
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receipt
Replace the word
receive
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of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 benefits. I think it's not true, which
Add a missing verb
is explaine
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explaine
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explained
explains
explain
 in
subsequent
Add an article
the subsequent
a subsequent
show examples
 paragraph. First and foremost, many
unemloyment
Correct your spelling
unemployment
people
 are wondering about
long term
Add a hyphen
long-term
show examples
job's
Change noun form
jobs
show examples
 but in
this
 modern world, it's very difficult to get that kind of
job
.
people
 who do not have
job's
Change noun form
jobs
show examples
 become
burden
Correct article usage
a burden
show examples
 to the country as they enjoy
goverments
Correct your spelling
government
governments
 benefits without any contribution
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
community
Add an article
the community
show examples
. Funds which can be used in building
schols
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schools
, gardens, and many more places
beacause
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because
 of unemployed
people
 it's
waeken
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wasted
.
Beacuse
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Because
, they don't pay any taxes which
damage
Correct subject-verb agreement
damages
show examples
Correct article usage
the goverment
show examples
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 and
Correct article usage
the country
show examples
country
Change noun form
country's
show examples
 economy in several ways.
Fuurthermore
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Furthermore
, a person who
satyed
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stayed
 long from
work
 or
job
Correct article usage
a job
show examples
,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
become less
confidence
Replace the word
confident
show examples
 and
stressfull
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stressful
.
However
, if they do some charity
work
such
 as
build
Wrong verb form
building
show examples
constraction
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construction
 or helping
handicap
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handicapped
show examples
childrens
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children
show examples
, which
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
 to build some confidence in them.
Morever
Correct your spelling
Moreover
,
this
 charity
work
also
 help to learn new skills and help to build
connection
Add an article
a connection
show examples
 with
potencial
Correct your spelling
potential
 employer which help to secure
job
 and stand out on their feet
agin
Correct your spelling
again
.
To
Change preposition
In
show examples
Correct your spelling
conclusion
conclution
Correct your spelling
conclusion
, it can said that
make
Wrong verb form
making
show examples
unemployment
Replace the word
unemployed
show examples
Correct your spelling
individuals
individulas
Correct your spelling
individuals
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
do
work
forcefullyit
Correct your spelling
forcefully
forcefully it
 can help them to be confident and make them keep
the
Change the word
their
show examples
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
, which could benefit
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Correct your spelling
both
show examples
boh
Correct your spelling
both
show examples
 society and
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 Community’s feedback
Submitted by patelprem9787 on

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coherence cohesion
You should focus on improving your logical structuring of ideas throughout the essay. Ideas should flow naturally from one to the next, which will enhance the overall clarity and effectiveness of your argument.
coherence cohesion
Work on forming clear introductions and conclusions. The introduction should outline the main argument or points that will be discussed, and the conclusion should summarize them effectively.
coherence cohesion
Further develop your main points with specific, detailed examples. Each main point should be clearly stated and then expanded upon with evidence or examples that support it.
task achievement
Ensure that your essay fully addresses all parts of the task prompt. Each point you make should be relevant to the initial question and work towards completing a thorough response.
task achievement
Work on presenting your ideas more clearly and comprehensively. Consider organizing your thoughts in a manner that makes your argument easy to follow and understand.
task achievement
Use relevant examples to support your claims. Make sure that these examples are specific and directly related to the points being made, as this will strengthen your arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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