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Writing Samples
Band 6

The chart below shows a comparison of different kinds of energy production in France in 1995 and 2005.

The chart below shows a comparison of different kinds of energy production in France in 1995 and 2005.
#comparison #kinds #energy #production #france
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The given pie charts provide information about the
figure
Fix the agreement mistake
figures
show examples
 for
energy
Use synonyms
 manufacturing in France between
two
Correct article usage
the two
show examples
years
Use synonyms
, 1995 and 2005.
Overall
Linking Words
, coal and gas
energy
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 remained the highest proportion in both
years
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.
Meanwhile
Add a comma
Meanwhile,
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 nuclear and other
energy
Use synonyms
 accounted for less than 10%.
According to
Linking Words
 the charts,
energy
Use synonyms
 generated by coal made up 29,80% in 1995,
then
Linking Words
 there was a slight increase in 2005, about 30.93%.
Similarly
Linking Words
,
energy
Use synonyms
 from gas
also
Linking Words
 increased slightly from 29,63% to 30,31% in 10
years
Use synonyms
.
By contrast
Linking Words
, petro was the only source which decreased from 29,27% in 1995 to 19,55% 10
years
Use synonyms
 later.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, nuclear and other power accounted for the
least
Correct word choice
lowest
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 proportion of total
energy
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 produced, 4,90% with other
energy
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 and 6,40% with nuclear sources in 1995,
then
Linking Words
 increased
9,10
Change preposition
to 9,10
show examples
% and 10,10%, respectively in the next ten
years
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by thuhuyen16992qn on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words energy, years with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 2 times.
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