IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

In schools and universities, girls tend to choose arts, while boys like science. what are the reasons for this trend and do you think this tendency should be changed?

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Schools
Change preposition
In schools
show examples
 and universities,
girls
Use synonyms
 like to choose
arts
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
boys
Use synonyms
 like
science
Use synonyms
.
subject
Use synonyms
 choose is depend on
student's
Correct article usage
the student's
show examples
Use synonyms
mind set
Correct your spelling
mindset
show examples
 and
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
gols
Correct your spelling
goals
. I think most of the
girls
Use synonyms
prefer
Add the particle
prefer to
show examples
 enjoy and
romantic
Add a missing verb
be romantic
show examples
.so
Correct your spelling
so
 they select
Use synonyms
arts related
Add a hyphen
arts-related
show examples
 subjects. But
boys
Use synonyms
 are interesting logical studies.
theirfore
Correct your spelling
Therefore
, they select
science
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
show examples
. On the one hand, in
modern
Add an article
the modern
show examples
 era,
girls
Use synonyms
 like
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 enjoy and
studies
Replace the word
study
show examples
, so they decide to
study
Use synonyms
arts
Use synonyms
 stream.
for example
Linking Words
, music, drama,
tamil
Change the capitalization
Tamil
show examples
,
geographic
Replace the word
geography
show examples
,and dance. nowadays, these are more rending subjects.so,
Use synonyms
girls
Change noun form
girls'
girl's
show examples
mind
Use synonyms
 like to select
Use synonyms
arts
Fix the agreement mistake
art
show examples
 scream. most of the universities are available
all
Change preposition
for all
show examples
 the
arts
Use synonyms
 subjects and can
study
Use synonyms
 their own language. so
girls
Use synonyms
 choose these scream and
also
Linking Words
,
studing
Correct your spelling
studying
 enjoy and relax. after
studing
Correct your spelling
studying
, can go to other
show
Fix the agreement mistake
shows
show examples
.can participate
competitive
Change preposition
in competitive
show examples
 programs. more opportunities are available.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
boys
Use synonyms
 have been
interesing
Correct your spelling
interested
to
Change preposition
in studying
show examples
study
Use synonyms
science
Use synonyms
. because
boy's
Change noun form
boys'
show examples
Use synonyms
mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
show examples
 like logical
study
Use synonyms
 and they
Add a missing verb
are interest
show examples
interest
Replace the word
interested
show examples
Change preposition
in problem
show examples
problem solving
Add a hyphen
problem-solving
show examples
 and
reserch
Correct your spelling
research
 so they decide to choose
science
Use synonyms
site
Fix the agreement mistake
sites
show examples
. they think
this
Linking Words
subject
Use synonyms
 help
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
future
Correct article usage
the future
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
. and can earn more money.
Linking Words
for
Capitalize word
For
show examples
 instance,
boys
Use synonyms
 like
Fix the infinitive
to analys
show examples
analys
Correct your spelling
analyse
 their society. and find the problems.so they choose
this
Linking Words
subject
Use synonyms
. In Conclusion, In my point of view,
subject
Use synonyms
 selection is not
depend
Replace the word
dependent
show examples
 on gender. that decide their
prefer
Replace the word
preference
show examples
, their
Use synonyms
mind set
Correct your spelling
mindset
show examples
, and
also
Linking Words
, their
gols
Correct your spelling
goals
. it is full freedom.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure correct spelling of key terms (e.g., 'goals' instead of 'gols' and 'stream' instead of 'scream') to maintain clarity and professionalism in your writing.
coherence cohesion
Organize your essay into clear paragraphs with distinct introductory, body, and concluding sections. Each paragraph should have a central idea that is explored and supported throughout.
coherence cohesion
Use a range of linking words to create cohesion between sentences and clarity of argument progression (e.g., 'Furthermore', 'However', 'Therefore').
task achievement
Fully address both parts of the task by discussing the reasons behind the trend and giving a clear opinion on whether this tendency should be changed.
task achievement
Develop your points with relevant examples and clear reasoning to illustrate your arguments effectively. Avoid overgeneralizations without supporting evidence.
task achievement
Remember to proofread your work for grammatical accuracy and to enhance the overall coherence and cohesion of your essay.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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