Prevention is better than cure." Out of a country's health budget, a large proportion should be diverted from treatment to spending on health education and preventative measures.To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.

#prevention #cure #country #health #budget #proportion #treatment #education #measures

In the modern world, the majority of people encounter

with

Change preposition

apply

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all sorts of

illnesess

Correct your spelling

illnesses

. It is argued that can be subsided the financial aspects of treatment by

raising

Wrong verb form

raise

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Correct article usage

the awarness

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awarness

Correct your spelling

awareness

public

Add an article

the public

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about prevention measures. I strongly agree with

this

argument and will

be tried

Wrong verb form

try

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to express the

goverments'

Correct your spelling

government'

roles

Fix the agreement mistake

role

show examples

this

social problem.

Submitted by hiva.karimi2180 on Thu Dec 14 2023

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coherence cohesion

The essay provided is incomplete and consists of only one paragraph with multiple grammatical errors. A full essay typically includes at least four paragraphs comprising an introduction, two or more body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph should present a clear main idea, followed by supporting sentences.

task achievement

The essay has not addressed the essay prompt in its entirety. A complete response would require the examinee to develop arguments for why they agree with the statement regarding the diversion of health budget funds from treatment to preventative measures. Furthermore, the essay must include relevant examples that support the arguments presented.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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1Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

1 paragraphs

53 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

preventive measures
health education
public awareness
proactive approach
unsustainable
economic productivity
healthcare system
vaccinations
curative measures
comprehensive healthcare
financial burden
incidence
preventable diseases
eradicating
controlling
allocated

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Prevention is better than cure." Out of a country's health budget, a large proportion should be diverted from treatment to spending on health education and preventative measures.To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Many young people say that mobile phones are the most important object that they own. Does the popularity of mobile phones among young people have more advantages or disadvantages?

Many people put their personal information online (address, telephone number, and so on) for purposes such as signing up for social networks or online banking. Is this a positive or negative development?

Consumers are faced with increasing numbers of advertisements from competing companies. To what extent do you think consumers are influenced by advertisements? What measures can be taken to protect them?

Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.