Prevention is better than cure." Out of a country's health budget, a large proportion should be diverted from treatment to spending on health education and preventative measures.To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.

In the modern world, the majority of people encounter
with
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apply
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all sorts of
illnesess
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illnesses
. It is argued that can be subsided the financial aspects of treatment by
raising
Wrong verb form
raise
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Correct article usage
the awarness
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awarness
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awareness
of
public
Add an article
the public
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about prevention measures. I strongly agree with
this
argument and will
be tried
Wrong verb form
try
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to express the
goverments'
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government'
roles
Fix the agreement mistake
role
show examples
in
this
social problem.
Submitted by hiva.karimi2180 on

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coherence cohesion
The essay provided is incomplete and consists of only one paragraph with multiple grammatical errors. A full essay typically includes at least four paragraphs comprising an introduction, two or more body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph should present a clear main idea, followed by supporting sentences.
task achievement
The essay has not addressed the essay prompt in its entirety. A complete response would require the examinee to develop arguments for why they agree with the statement regarding the diversion of health budget funds from treatment to preventative measures. Furthermore, the essay must include relevant examples that support the arguments presented.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • preventive measures
  • health education
  • public awareness
  • proactive approach
  • unsustainable
  • economic productivity
  • healthcare system
  • vaccinations
  • curative measures
  • comprehensive healthcare
  • financial burden
  • incidence
  • preventable diseases
  • eradicating
  • controlling
  • allocated
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