IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

you use the local swimming pool often,and during one of your visits,you have encountered a promblem write a letter to the mananger describe what the promblem was tell what the swimming pool staff have done about it suggest your solution to the problem

Dear Sir ,
iam
Correct your spelling
I am
 writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to express my suggestion to you about
extra
Correct article usage
the extra
show examples
chlorine
Use synonyms
 content in your swimming
pool
Use synonyms
 water
.iam facing
Wrong verb form
I faced
show examples
 during my
last
Linking Words
 visit At the onset,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
vivdly
Correct your spelling
vividly
 remember all the members
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
including me facing the problem.
some one
Correct your spelling
someone
show examples
 from your emploees put extra
chlorine
Use synonyms
 in the swimming
pool
Use synonyms
.It causes
numerious
Correct your spelling
numerous
 skin problems
moreover
Linking Words
,it causes skin
alergy
Correct your spelling
allergies
 and eyes
become
Fix the infinitive
to become
show examples
 red
due to
Linking Words
high
Correct article usage
the high
show examples
 content of
chlorine
Use synonyms
.
furthermore
Linking Words
, the cleaning of the swimming
pool
Use synonyms
 is too dirty. In the
pool
Use synonyms
area
Add a comma
area,
show examples
 there is no dustbin
be placed
Verb problem
apply
show examples
.the main problem is
lack
Correct article usage
the lack
show examples
 of staff and they have not changed the water on
daily
Correct article usage
a daily
show examples
 basis.
Hence
Linking Words
, being a scientist
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 would like to suggest that they need to increase the temperature of water
upto
Correct your spelling
up to
 40
degree
Fix the agreement mistake
degrees
show examples
celcies
Correct your spelling
celsius
Celcius
.that it breaks the
chlorine
Use synonyms
 molecule with the help of
submersible
Correct article usage
a submersible
show examples
 heat generator
.when
Correct your spelling
When
this
Linking Words
 process is done
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the
promblem
Correct your spelling
problem
 is solved. look forward to hearing from
my
Correct pronoun usage
you
show examples
 soon
your
Correct pronoun usage
yours
show examples
 faithfully, Vicky Sharma

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph presents a single, clear idea and that the ideas connect logically to each other. The letter should have also included an appropriate opening and closing to make it more polite and formal.
task achievement
Make sure to address all the bullet points of the task in a clear and detailed manner. The response should be complete and relevant to the prompts. Also, maintain a formal tone throughout the letter appropriate for writing to a manager.

The Greeting

Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.

Always start an informal letter in the ways:

  • Dear + name
  • Hi / Hello + name

‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.

For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:

  • Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
  • Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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