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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

This graph shows the proportion of four different materials that were recycled from 1982 to 2010 in a particular country.

This graph shows the proportion of four different materials that were recycled from 1982 to 2010 in a particular country.
#proportion #four #materials #country
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The line graph provides the information on percentage of four types of
items
Use synonyms
 that were recycled between 1982 and 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, the proportion of recycling various
items
Use synonyms
 appear increasing,
however
Linking Words
, plastics remains almost unchanged and paper experience fluctuations.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the process
recycling
Change preposition
of recycling
show examples
 Aluminum cans and plastics started late compared to glass and paper
on
Change preposition
in
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 around 1998 and 1992 respectively.
Aluminum
Change the spelling
Aluminium
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 bottles constantly
rises
Change the verb form
rise
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 over the period of time from approximately less than 5% to more than 40% which is the highest rising rate in the graph.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
plastics
Change the noun form
plastic
show examples
items
Use synonyms
remains
Change the verb form
remain
show examples
 on
bottom
Add an article
the bottom
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 throughout the time with less than 10% being recycled. The remaining two
items
Use synonyms
seems
Change the verb form
seem
show examples
 somehow similar on
graph
Add an article
the graph
a graph
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. Glass containers
begins
Wrong verb form
began
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 convert
from
Change preposition
in
show examples
 1982
with
Change preposition
at
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50
Correct article usage
a 50
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% rate,
drops
Wrong verb form
dropped
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 to 40% in
Change the article
the 90s
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90s
Correct your spelling
'90s
 and steadily
climbs
Wrong verb form
climbed
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 up to 60% until 2010. With regard to cardboard and paper, their rate of recycling was less than 70%
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the start which
touch
Wrong verb form
touched
show examples
 the 70% margin in 2010 after experiencing fluctuation.
Submitted by luneshbhattarai0 on

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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words items with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remains" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • proportion
  • recycled
  • materials
  • percentage
  • paper and cardboard
  • glass
  • plastic
  • metal
  • stable
  • noticeable
  • rise
  • significant increase
  • accounting for
  • consistent
  • ste steadily
  • dramatically
  • nearly
  • worth noting
  • relatively low
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