Studying art in school improves students’ performance in other subjects because it is easier for multi-skilled students to learn new things. That’s why art should be obligatory in schools. Do you agree or disagree?

#art #school #students’ #performance #subjects #students #that’s #schools

The studying methods at

school

are developing now. So there are a lot of approaches to the impact of

school

student's

Fix the agreement mistake

students'

show examples

skills. Some schools enter

art

classes

hoping that

such

subjects

will help

students

to learn new things and be multi-skilled. I disagree with the view of making obligatory

art

classes

school

. In my opinion, it does not work with everyone to make

art

classes

obligatory, since I think each student is unique. Some

students

adore visiting

art

classes

because it may be their hobby or they may just prefer it. When they like studying

craft

Fix the agreement mistake

crafts

show examples

It can have a good effect in another field of their life.

For example

, It can improve their critical thinking or change their mindset so they will think abroad.

Also

, it will affect their academic performance. On the other side, they will develop as a person since recruitment has mental meals. It fulfils their mental condition. The reason why I do not support the idea of including

art

classes

in the list of basic

subjects

is it can not suit everybody. Because some people can not stand arts and think it is just another cause of spending time on the things which are not good for them.

Instead

Add a comma

show examples

they prefer to learn something which will help in their professional life. And someone can find it boring so they will pay more attention to physical sport.

That is

why I do not agree with the opinion of making

art

subjects

obligatory. If these

classes

to everybody

then

people who do not like them can spoil the atmosphere in the class and it can affect another student who is good at

art

and adores it. These

classes

must be elective. It

also

includes

subjects

debat

Correct your spelling

debit

debate

classes

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and robotechnic which

students

can choose what they want It will be more effective for everyone. Summing up, I keep the view that

art

classes

should not be obligatory.

School

Fix the agreement mistake

Schools

show examples

have to provide

students

with the choice of which

subjects

they will visit.

Submitted by sayazhorabek9466 on Thu Dec 14 2023

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coherence cohesion

Your essay lacks a clear logical structure that easily guides the reader through the points made. It's crucial to have a clear introduction, body paragraphs each presenting one main idea, and a conclusion that restates your position. Paragraphs should be organized and each should have a clear topic sentence.

coherence cohesion

Introduction and conclusion are essential components of the essay structure. In your essay, both seem to be present; however, they are not clearly defined and articulated. The introduction should clearly state your position on the prompt, and the conclusion should effectively summarize your arguments, restating your stance.

coherence cohesion

Support your main points with clear and specific examples. Your essay includes some general statements, but it lacks concrete examples that illustrate your claims. This oversight diminishes the effectiveness of your arguments. Ensure each point made is supported by a specific example or reasoning.

task achievement

Your response to the task could be improved. The essay indicates your disagreement with the statement, but it is incomplete in addressing why arts should not be obligatory beyond personal preferences. A complete response fully addresses the question by examining both sides of the argument, including reasons why some might agree or disagree with the proposition.

task achievement

Work on developing clear and comprehensive ideas throughout your essay. Some of your points are not fully explained, which can leave the reader with unanswered questions. Ensuring that each paragraph contains one clear, well-developed idea with explanations will lead to a stronger essay.

task achievement

Your essay lacks relevant and specific examples that could strengthen your arguments. Including specific, detailed examples is important to show the examiner that you understand the topic and can think critically about it.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

335 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Studying art in school improves students’ performance in other subjects because it is easier for multi-skilled students to learn new things. That’s why art should be obligatory in schools. Do you agree or disagree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

The plans below show a public park when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

In order to solve traffic jams and home problems, people believe that it can be solved by relocating companies, factories and employees to country side. To what extend do you agree?

Educationalists think that international exchange visits are important for teenage school students. Do you agree or disagree?

In certain countries famous festival witch attract million of people on site. What are the advantages and disadvantages of such popular festivals

Many people say that universities should only offer places to young students with the highest marks, while others say they should accept people of all ages, even if they did not do well at school. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.