Some people believe that professional athletes serve as positive role models for young people, while others argue that their behavior both on and off the field can have a negative influence. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#people #athletes #role #models #behavior #field #influence

Some

people

claim that professional

athletes

act as great

role

models

for young

people

However

,others argue that their conduct on and off the

field

has a detrimental impact.

This

essay will analyse

both

opposite ideas and provide my own perspective. On the one hand,there are some

people

who believe that professional

athletes

serve as excellent

role

models

for young

people

This

is perhaps because

athletes

often showcase qualities

such

as teamwork, cooperation, and sportsmanship on the

field

. These values can translate into positive

behaviors

Change the spelling

behaviours

show examples

for young individuals participating in sports or other group activities.

For example

,Lionel Messi, a soccer superstar,

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

demonstrates teamwork and sportsmanship, fostering a positive environment within his team and serving as an inspiration for young soccer enthusiasts.

On the other hand

, some

people

support that their actions on and off the

field

have a negative influence.

This

is probably because some

athletes

exhibit unsportsmanlike conduct,

such

as aggressive

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

, poor sportsmanship, or cheating.

This

can set a negative example for young fans who may emulate these behaviors in their own activities.

For instance

, a professional football player who engages in trash talk

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

displays aggression towards opponents

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

or consistently violates rules on the

field

may set a negative example.

This

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

can be emulated by young

athletes

, leading to a toxic sports culture. From my point of view, the impact of professional

athletes

role

models

Change the verb form

are

show examples

complex and varies based on individual

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

. It is essential to recognize that

athletes

, like anyone else, can possess

both

positive and negative qualities. The responsibility lies with

athletes

to be aware of their influence and strive to embody positive values

both

on and off the

field

To conclude

,professional

athletes

can serve as positive

role

models

for young

people

through their determination, discipline, and involvement in charitable activities.

However

, their

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

both

on and off the

field

can

also

have negative influences. It is important for young

people

to be exposed to a variety of positive

role

models

and to be taught how to analyze and evaluate their

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

Submitted by nguyenthuhuongnx123 on Thu Dec 14 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea supported by relevant examples and explanations. Avoid general statements that are not substantiated.

coherence cohesion

The introduction should clearly present the topic and outline the main points to be discussed, while the conclusion should effectively summarize the arguments without introducing new ideas.

task achievement

Cover all aspects of the prompt thoroughly. Your response should provide a balanced discussion of both views and conclude with a reasoned opinion.

coherence cohesion

Organize ideas logically, using a range of cohesive devices to connect ideas and paragraphs, thereby ensuring the essay flows smoothly.

task achievement

Include specific and detailed examples to support each point. Make sure these examples are directly relevant to the topic and argument you are presenting.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

332 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

role model
determination
discipline
work ethic
community service
charitable activities
poor behavior
unsportsmanlike conduct
media scrutiny
public perception
materialism
physical and mental health issues
impressionable youth
high levels
pursuing sports
positive influence
negative influence

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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