IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

In some countries, secondary schools aim to provide a general education across a range of subjects. In others, children focus on a narrow range of subjects related to a particular career. Which do you think is appropriate in today’s world?

#countries #schools #aim #education #range #subjects #children #focus #career #today’s #world
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Secondary schools offer different kinds of
education
Use synonyms
 for
children
Use synonyms
. Some are versatile, providing a range of
subjects
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
 others are occupation-oriented based on some specific
subjects
Use synonyms
. In my opinion, general
education
Use synonyms
 is a better option to nurture
children
Use synonyms
 catering to
demands
Correct article usage
the demands
show examples
 of the world. General
education
Use synonyms
 plays an indispensable role in
children
Use synonyms
’s growth period.Their developmental features
reflects
Change the verb form
reflect
show examples
 their unfixed, dynamic, fluid process of forming beliefs about the world.
Thus
Linking Words
 various
subjects
Use synonyms
 can contribute to nurturing them to take a holistic picture of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
reality and explore their own interests. Meanwhile,
children
Use synonyms
 should be equipped with some fundamental knowledge so that they can prepare for the challenging social competition.
Subjects
Use synonyms
 related to a particular career
adopts
Correct subject-verb agreement
adopt
show examples
 a different but
also
Linking Words
 reasonable perspective.
Children
Use synonyms
 are likely to narrow their attention
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 a specific field and
further
Linking Words
 their study. But the responsibility should be shouldered by the high
education
Use synonyms
.
Children
Use synonyms
 without general
understandings
Fix the agreement mistake
understanding
show examples
 find it hard to choose their favoured area. I recommend secondary schools
providing
Wrong verb form
provide
show examples
 general
education
Use synonyms
instead
Linking Words
 of career-related
education
Use synonyms
, which is conducive to students’ life-long development.
Submitted by 1822562693 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear structure with a distinct introduction, body, and conclusion. Your paragraphs should connect to each other in a meaningful way that aids the reader's understanding.
task achievement
Make sure you develop your main points with clear, detailed examples and explanations. The examples you provide should be relevant and should help to illustrate the argument you are making.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: