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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph illustrates the levels of unemployment and the proportion of people who migrated from Ireland from 1988 to 2008.

The graph illustrates the levels of unemployment and the proportion of people who migrated from Ireland from 1988 to 2008.
The
graph
Use synonyms
 illustrates levels of unemployment and
amount
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 who
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 migrating from Ireland
since
Change preposition
from
show examples
 1988 to 2008.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
graph
Use synonyms
 showed fluctuation
by
Change preposition
in
show examples
people
Use synonyms
transfer
Wrong verb form
transferring
show examples
 from Ireland,
also
Linking Words
 percentages of
unemployment
Add an article
the unemployment
show examples
 rate. The
graph
Use synonyms
 examined
that
Correct word choice
how
show examples
Use synonyms
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
 migration related
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
unemployment
Add an article
the unemployment
show examples
 rate. Because, when
employment
Correct article usage
the employment
show examples
 rate significantly
increase
Change the verb form
increases
show examples
,
Linking Words
then
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
Use synonyms
people
Correct quantifier usage
number of people
show examples
 leaving
decreased
Wrong verb form
decreases
show examples
. Between 1988 and 1990, to migrate Ireland, who was keen, those
people
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
amount
Verb problem
apply
show examples
dramatically decreased from 1988 to 1999 and after that
year
Use synonyms
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
fluctuated. From
After
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2
Use synonyms
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
 to 2000,
unemployed
Correct article usage
the unemployed
show examples
 percentage dramatically fell. Amid
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
1988 and 1990,
migrated
Correct article usage
the migrated
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 number stood
off
Change preposition
at
show examples
 70000. After that
increase
Add a comma
increase,
show examples
 we can see in
Use synonyms
graph
Correct article usage
the graph
show examples
 fluctuation. After 10
Use synonyms
year
Change to a plural noun
years
show examples
,
amount
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 who migrated
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 2000
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
stood off 20000. After
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the year
show examples
year
Correct article usage
the year
show examples
Change preposition
apply
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2000 and before 2008,
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the graph
show examples
graph
Correct article usage
the graph
show examples
Correct subject-verb agreement
reveals
show examples
reveal
Correct subject-verb agreement
reveals
show examples
Correct article usage
a steady
show examples
steady
Correct article usage
a steady
show examples
 of
people
Use synonyms
amount
Use synonyms
, who migrated, but in 2008 it dramatically increased, and
Correct article usage
the living
show examples
living
Correct article usage
the living
show examples
Use synonyms
people
Correct quantifier usage
number of people
show examples
amount
Use synonyms
 become doubled
Change preposition
in
show examples
than
Change preposition
in
show examples
2000
Change the article
the 2000
show examples
year
Use synonyms
’s
people
Use synonyms
amount
Use synonyms
. After 2 years of 1990 unemployed
Use synonyms
people
Add a comma
people,
show examples
 number was
leveled
Change the spelling
levelled
show examples
 off
almost
Change preposition
by almost
show examples
 6, which. After
2000
Change the article
the 2000
show examples
Use synonyms
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
, unemployed
people
Use synonyms
amount
Use synonyms
 increased, and
percentage
Add an article
the percentage
show examples
 was
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 as
1998
Change preposition
in 1998
show examples
.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 80%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words graph, amount, people, year with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "illustrates" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 7 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stood" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "dramatically" was used 3 times.
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