Some people believe that men and women are equal and so women should be able to do any job. They want. Others feel that men and women are not equal and therefore there are certain jobs which are not suitable for women. What is your opinion

Gone are the days when
women
were not given equality, thanks to
women
and empowerment which has
bought
Correct your spelling
brought
show examples
gender equality. Few masses argue that providing equivalent opportunities is
must
Correct article usage
a must
show examples
.
On the other
hand
Add a comma
hand,
show examples
individuals believe that many tasks
only
Add a missing verb
are only
show examples
designed for men which
women
cannot carry out.
However
, I stand with the former view and shall discuss its aspects with related examples There are multiple factors
with standing
Correct your spelling
withstanding
show examples
the notion of non-discrimination.
Firstly
, by providing
fair
Add an article
a fair
show examples
chance
Fix the agreement mistake
chances
show examples
to
Add an article
the female
a female
show examples
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
who
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
can lower
down
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the burden
from
Change preposition
on
show examples
one member of
family
Add an article
the family
show examples
. Two exemplify a survey
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
conducted by News India channel, which showed the outcome that 59% of the families of India support
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
work and
hence
it has lowered
down
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their financial crisis by 5% annually.
Secondly
, freedom of choice promotes growth. To demonstrate the government of India has initiated many start-up plans, small scale, business opportunities with good return on investment to bring hidden skills in front and promote
women
empowerment.
Moreover
,
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
following the path of justness ,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
always
boost
Change the verb form
boosts
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
morale and establishes a sense of faith and honesty.
For instance
, as per the article from The Tribune explains that 63% of the
women
of our country are bagged by their parents to achieve their goals. It elevates the trust level and
help
Change the verb form
helps
show examples
to reach heights To cut
long
Correct article usage
a long
show examples
story short, the right to choose
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
belongs to everyone. so in my opinion, both men and
women
must be given an equal chance to support their families.
Submitted by plkkhati on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure logical progression of ideas throughout the essay. Use clear topic sentences to introduce the main idea of each paragraph, and develop that idea with supporting evidence and examples.
coherence cohesion
Include a clear introduction that states your position on the issue and a conclusion that summarizes your main points and reiterates your opinion.
task achievement
Elaborate and explain the main ideas more deeply, providing a balanced argument by discussing both views even if you agree with one. Then, substantiate your ideas with relevant, specific examples.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: