Many museums and historical sites are mainly visited by tourists but not local people. Why is this the case and what can be done to attract more local people to visit these places?

Nowaday
Correct your spelling
Nowadays
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, a lot of museums and historical
sites
seem
Add the particle
seem to
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attract tourists, rather than locals.
This
is a problem which greatly impacts the local tourism industry. There are several reasons leading to
this
and solutions should be adopted to solve
this
issue. Museums and historical
sites
attract less local visitors for the following reasons.
Firstly
, people who live in the
neighborhood
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neighbourhood
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are often familiar with their traditional customs and history. They have lived and attached to
this
place for a long time so they don’t feel excited about local
sites
.
Therefore
, residents often choose other attractions
which
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in which
show examples
they can explore various traditions and beautiful scenes.
Moreover
, the costs at tourist destinations are often high so local people don’t pay for
familiar
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a familiar
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experience.
Although
this
is seem
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seems
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a
Correct article usage
apply
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quite a difficult task, there are a number of solutions that could encourage them to do so. One possible solution for local
authority
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authorities
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is
organize
Fix the infinitive
to organize
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many activities
such
as cultural festivals, galas,
special
Correct word choice
and special
show examples
tour
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tours
show examples
,…
As a result
,
this
can make
sites
more attractive, which can not only
pay
Verb problem
attract
show examples
the attention of locals but
also
increase the number of visitors from other places. Another solution is upgrading
service
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services
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including food, rest,
parking
Correct word choice
and parking
show examples
place
Fix the agreement mistake
places
show examples
… to satisfy the needs of
travelers
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travellers
show examples
and encourage them to visit these historical attractions. In conclusion, there are many reasons why
museum
Fix the agreement mistake
museums
show examples
and historical
sites
are mainly visited by tourists and
accordingly
, there are
also
some key solutions which local government can do. I think local people should travel
Change preposition
to this
show examples
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
sites
to understand more about history and tradition.
Submitted by linhnguyen18425 on

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Task Achievement
Ensure that you are directly answering the question presented in the prompt throughout your essay. Address both parts of the prompt: why local people don't often visit and what can be done to attract them.
Task Achievement
Attempt to include a range of relevant specific examples to support each point you make. Specific examples are crucial to demonstrating a complete understanding of the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on developing a clear paragraph structure with topic sentences that outline the main idea of each paragraph to improve logical structure.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that the introduction and conclusion are fully developed to frame the essay effectively. Both should be distinct sections that introduce and summarize the main points of the essay, respectively.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use cohesive devices and transitional phrases to link ideas and paragraphs smoothly. This will greatly improve the flow of your essay.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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