IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

Write a complaint letter to a telephone company and let them know how their services failed to fulfill your expectations. In your letter you should • introduce yourself • mention what the main problem is • and say what you want them to do.

#complaint #telephone #company #services #expectations
Dear sir, I hope you are doing well. Recently, I utilized your service and I am writing to express my annoyance at the company affairs based on I am on the journey in
foreign
Add an article
a foreign
show examples
 country. The telephone organization promised that there
are
Wrong verb form
would be
show examples
 many
possibility
Change to a plural noun
possibilities
show examples
 to connect satellite communication and I hoped that there
was
Wrong verb form
would be
show examples
 no
any
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
problem
to make
Change preposition
in making
show examples
 a conversation with my family online.
However
, the link between me and my offspring is too poor.
In addition
, the cost of the traffic is expensive than I afford. I suppose that it might be very well based on the traffic value. I would like a full
refunds
Correct the article-noun agreement
refund
show examples
 because I have damaged
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the quality of your service. I hope you will consider the points I have raised very carefully. Yours faithfully John.
Submitted by odiljonovdilshod8 on

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logical structure
The letter lacks clear paragraphing, and ideas are not well-sequenced, making it difficult to follow the argument. It is advisable to organize the content into clear paragraphs -- introduction, body (problem description), and conclusion (desired outcome).
greeting and closing
Although the letter contains a greeting and sign-off, they are not conventional for formal complaint letters. Consider using more standard phrases, like 'Dear Customer Service Manager' and 'Yours sincerely' along with your full name.
single idea per paragraph
Ideas need to be clearly presented one per paragraph. The letter jumps between introduction, problem, and resolution abruptly. Use separate paragraphs for introducing yourself, explaining the problem, and stating the resolution you expect.
complete response
The introduction does not adequately set up the purpose of the letter or identify the author's relationship to the company. Make sure to clearly introduce yourself and state the purpose of writing.
suitable writing tone
The tone of the letter falls between informal and semi-formal, which is not entirely suitable for the context of a complaint. Strive for a respectful, formal tone in a complaint letter, and avoid slang or idiomatic expressions.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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