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Band 4.5

In many countries, young people are granted certain priveleges and responsibilities at the age of sixteen. Clearly parents have a responsibility to both care for and prepare their children as they approach this important milestone. To what degree should parents intervene in the lives of their 14-15 year-old children?

#countries #people #priveleges #responsibilities #age #sixteen #parents #responsibility #care #children #approach #milestone #lives
As
children
 grow up, they can be increasingly responsible for their own decisions.
However
,
Parents
also
 took an important part in their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
. And to believe that many individuals are granted with certain
priveleges
Correct your spelling
privileges
 and responsibilities at the age of sixteen is an extraordinary imagination for the
parents
. Here,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 will outline how big the degree
parents
 should intervene in the lives of their 14-
15 year-old
Add a hyphen
15-year-old
show examples
children
. It is a widely known fact that
parents
held
Verb problem
play
show examples
 the most important part in their
chilldren
Correct your spelling
children
 growing stage. From the moment we were given birth. They already took care of us by giving us some energy
consuming
Replace the word
consumption
show examples
, food
nutrient
Fix the agreement mistake
nutrients
show examples
, and a lot of knowledge. In the
toodler
Correct your spelling
toddler
 stage, they particularly teach us how to speak, the manner we need to know, and other things.
Subsequently
,
when
Rephrase
apply
show examples
we reach the teenager state, which was famously known as the rebel stage. We often do some kind of things that
was
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
 out of control.
This
 can lead us, to learn a step where will we
realized
Wrong verb form
realise
show examples
 the consequences of our
action
Fix the agreement mistake
actions
show examples
.
Parents
 tend to hope that their
children
 will grow to be a kind and helpful person. So they will give us some
example
Fix the agreement mistake
examples
show examples
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 how to
lived
Change the form of the verb
live
show examples
 a meaningful life.
Such
 like
sent
Wrong verb form
sending
show examples
 us to school, they expect us to learn
many
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
new knowledge that they can't teach in our personal
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
.
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
 they sometimes tried to
made
Change the verb
make
show examples
 us
do
Verb problem
have
show examples
 various experiences by
let
Wrong verb form
letting
show examples
 us join some art, sports, science, and
other element
Change the wording
another element
other elements
show examples
 of these to see on which side we will be useful later. They
also
 have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
high expectations
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 us
while
 we do these things, because they will know
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
what is our gift. Seeing us grow with these
experience
Fix the agreement mistake
experiences
show examples
 they will be relying on us in the future. So based on
these statement
Change the determiner
this statement
these statements
show examples
, I strongly believe that
parents
 held a big degree to intervene with their 14-15 year-old
children
 until they reach the age of having granted their own responsibility and
priveleges
Correct your spelling
privileges
privilege
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the age of sixteen.
Submitted by raashendy on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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