The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#first #energy #australian #household #second #greenhouse #gas #emissions #summarise #information #features #comparisons

The provided pie charts depict Australia's household

energy

consumption and greenhouse

gas

emissions which result from

this

energy

use.

Overall

, heating water takes 30% of

energy

and

also

it produces the same amount of greenhouse

gas

In addition

, heating consumes the largest sum of

energy

about 42%,

while

it spreads only a low amount of toxic

gas

,which is around 15%.

To begin

with,

energy

utilization for cooling, lighting and refrigeration are in less quantity, which are 2, 4, 7.

Furthermore

, water heating is the second largest in using

energy

,which is almost 30%.

Finally

, some other

appliance

Change the wording

appliances

show examples

use only 15% of

energy

On the other hand

, cooling has the least per cent of 3 , in emitting greenhouse

gas

Further

, heating and refrigeration contribute 14 and 15,

while

water heating alone makes the highest total of 32.

Lastly

, lighting and other appliances give around 8 and 28.

To sum up

, lighting and refrigeration

has

Change the verb form

have

show examples

to double the amount of percentage

Change preposition

apply

show examples

emitting

gas

than consuming

energy

Submitted by insighttribez on Thu Dec 14 2023

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

▼

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words energy, gas with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.

▼

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

167 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Average Australian household
Greenhouse gas emissions
Energy consumption
Activities
Heating
Cooling
Water heating
Appliances
Lighting
Standby
Percentage (%)
Consumption patterns
Efficiency
Emissions impact
Renewable energy
Energy-saving measures
Sustainability
Carbon footprint
Electricity
Natural gas
Emissions breakdown
Energy audit
Environmental impact
Conservation
Mitigation strategies

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The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

77.Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

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