IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The provided pie charts depict Australia's household
energy
Use synonyms
 consumption and greenhouse
gas
Use synonyms
 emissions which result from
this
Linking Words
energy
Use synonyms
 use.
Overall
Linking Words
, heating water takes 30% of
energy
Use synonyms
 and
also
Linking Words
 it produces the same amount of greenhouse
gas
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, heating consumes the largest sum of
energy
Use synonyms
 about 42%,
while
Linking Words
 it spreads only a low amount of toxic
gas
Use synonyms
,which is around 15%.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
energy
Use synonyms
 utilization for cooling, lighting and refrigeration are in less quantity, which are 2, 4, 7.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, water heating is the second largest in using
energy
Use synonyms
,which is almost 30%.
Finally
Linking Words
, some other
appliance
Change the wording
appliances
show examples
 use only 15% of
energy
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
 , cooling has the least per cent of 3 , in emitting greenhouse
gas
Use synonyms
 .
Further
Linking Words
, heating and refrigeration contribute 14 and 15,
while
Linking Words
 water heating alone makes the highest total of 32.
Lastly
Linking Words
, lighting and other appliances give around 8 and 28.
To sum up
Linking Words
, lighting and refrigeration
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 to double the amount of percentage
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
emitting
gas
Use synonyms
 than consuming
energy
Use synonyms
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words energy, gas with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Average Australian household
  • Greenhouse gas emissions
  • Energy consumption
  • Activities
  • Heating
  • Cooling
  • Water heating
  • Appliances
  • Lighting
  • Standby
  • Percentage (%)
  • Consumption patterns
  • Efficiency
  • Emissions impact
  • Renewable energy
  • Energy-saving measures
  • Sustainability
  • Carbon footprint
  • Electricity
  • Natural gas
  • Emissions breakdown
  • Energy audit
  • Environmental impact
  • Conservation
  • Mitigation strategies
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