Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Some
people
believe that studying at a university or college is the most effective way to a successful career;
however
, others think that it is
advantage
Replace the word
advantageous
show examples
to get a
job
after passing
school
. I consider that
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
could work to learn
money
management and earn some cash for their expenses after
school
,
people
can easily find a
job
after having a degree with well paid . On the one hand, some
people
think that university or college contributes to
a
Change the article
an
show examples
important part
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
a
student
Change noun form
student's
show examples
career. It is simply to consider that
people
can get a
job
easily, as big companies organize many
job
opportunities for graduates after completing their
studies
.
Besides
, students can get highly paid work
graduating
Change preposition
after graduating
show examples
as some companies need employees with higher levels of
studies
because
in
Add the comma(s)
, in
show examples
some fields of work, higher
studies
are needed
such
as technical expertise.
On the other hand
,
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
people
have some ideas about getting a
job
after
school
, as it could help students to pay their tuition fees and other
study related
Add a hyphen
study-related
show examples
bills. Some pupils do not ask for
money
from their parents for
studies
Correct pronoun usage
their studies
show examples
because they want to be independent, so they start
part time
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
jobs to make
money
for their
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
show examples
which can help them learn
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
how to
management
Replace the word
manage
show examples
the
Change the word
their
show examples
money
more
reasonable
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reasonably
show examples
. In
additionally
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addition
show examples
, they could
also
accumulated
Change the verb form
accumulate
show examples
experiences
Fix the agreement mistake
experience
show examples
through
part time
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
which can help them to find
better
Add an article
a better
show examples
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
in the future. In conclusion,
people
can get more benefits after graduating from college or university because they can get high salaries and can easily find jobs than working after
school
.
Submitted by nguyendungmanh977 on

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Introduction/Conclusion
Ensure that your introduction clearly presents the topic and outlines the structure of the essay. Work on your conclusion to reiterate your main points and clearly state your opinion without introducing new information.
Cohesion
Focus on creating a logical flow of ideas. Use a range of cohesive devices (e.g., linking words, pronouns) correctly and effectively to manage the progression of thoughts throughout the essay.
Main Points
Spend more time on developing your main points with detailed explanations and relevant examples. Each paragraph should have a clear central idea that is expanded upon with evidence or examples.
Task Response
Fully address all parts of the task, expressing a clear position throughout the response. Include an opinion that is consistent with the arguments you present. Make sure your essay directly responds to the task prompt, including a discussion of both views and your own opinion.
Grammar and Accuracy
Pay attention to grammatical accuracy and range. Avoid repetitive sentence structures and errors in verb tense, article usage, and word choice. Work on using complex sentence structures accurately to clearly convey your ideas.
Vocabulary
Expand your lexical resource by using a wider range of vocabulary. Be mindful of collocations and word usage in the context of the topic. Properly paraphrase when necessary and avoid overusing certain words.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Academic qualifications
  • Specialized skills
  • In-depth knowledge
  • Personal growth
  • Social development
  • Practical experience
  • Financial independence
  • Career progression
  • Professional networking
  • Education
  • Work experience
  • Successful career
  • Personal interests
  • Career goals
  • Decision-making process
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