some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main sbjects. other believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for qualifications. discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#university #students #subjects #addition #sbjects #time #attention #qualifications

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In today's era,

many

Correct quantifier usage

much

show examples

labor requires additional skills that are not provided in the educational institution.

For

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

reason, youngster are working extra hard on their study in order to get a promising job later in the future.

However

Linking Words

, some

students

Use synonyms

hold a different belief.

Thus

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

essay will discuss

these two opinion

Change the determiner

this two opinion

these two opinions

show examples

To begin

Linking Words

with, many young

adult

Change to a plural noun

adults

show examples

, especially those who

still

Add a missing verb

are still

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

University try to expand their skills

while

Linking Words

studying

Change preposition

show examples

the same time.

This

Linking Words

is actually a good

strategies

Change the noun form

strategy

show examples

for college pupils as

the

Correct your spelling

they

show examples

could

posses

Correct your spelling

possess

show examples

new

insight

Fix the agreement mistake

insights

show examples

which are not given in the main subject they currently

learn

Wrong verb form

learning

show examples

Moreover

Linking Words

, the

scholers

Correct your spelling

scholars

tend to master

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

good

time-management

Correct your spelling

time management

show examples

when they are put in

such

Linking Words

conditions. In

this

Linking Words

case,

students

Use synonyms

will know how to differentiate important things, urgent matters, and some

businisess

Correct your spelling

businesses

business

that can be done later on.

This

Linking Words

kind of

expertice

Correct your spelling

expertise

is really

importan

Correct your spelling

important

as many companies require their candidates to have

this

Linking Words

skill. Despite that,

deviding

Correct your spelling

dividing

focuse

Correct your spelling

focus

focuses

focused

other subject

Change the wording

another subject

other subjects

show examples

could effecting student's concentration and

led

Wrong verb form

lead

show examples

into

Change preposition

show examples

burnout. As the

students

Use synonyms

have many things that

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

need to be finished, their performance in the main subject likely decreased. When they can not manage these all things, the chance

to be

Change preposition

of being

show examples

stressed out probably

increased

Wrong verb form

increases

show examples

. In short, the decision to gain

new

Correct article usage

a new

show examples

understanding of some

knowlegde

Correct your spelling

knowledge

that can not be found in

academy

Correct article usage

an academy

show examples

can be both beneficial and unbeneficial. As long as the

students

Use synonyms

have

Remove the article

apply

show examples

faith and

could

Wrong verb form

can

show examples

carry out the activities,

perfect

Add an article

the perfect

show examples

result

Fix the agreement mistake

results

show examples

could

Wrong verb form

can

show examples

be obtained.

On the other hand

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

could lead to a bad ending if the

students

Use synonyms

can not maintain their condition.

Submitted by ayscollegematters on Thu Dec 14 2023

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Coherence & Cohesion

Ensure that the essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. The introduction and conclusion were present but could be more clearly defined.

Coherence & Cohesion

Develop main points with examples and explanations to strengthen the argument. Main points lacked detailed support and specific examples which would have bolstered the arguments.

Task Response

The response to the task question was somewhat complete. However, a more in-depth comparison of the views and a clearer expression of your own opinion is needed. Present a balanced discussion of both views before stating your own position.

Task Response

Clarify and develop ideas comprehensively. Use examples to illustrate your points and explain the implications or consequences of these ideas. The ideas presented were relevant but needed more depth and development to be comprehensive.

Task Response

Make sure to include specific examples that are directly relevant to the topic of the essay to support your points. The absence of specific, relevant examples impacted the effectiveness of the essay's argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
34
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

271 words

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some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main sbjects. other believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for qualifications. discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Nowadays, people want things instantly (goods, service, news). Why is this? Is this development positive or negative?

Today many children and teenagers are overweight and unhealthy. Give reasons to explain why many young people are obese and give some solutions to fix the problem.

some people say in order to prevent illness and disease government should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays many people travel to foreign countries for pleasure. Some believe this travel has a negative impact on the countries travelled to. To what extent do you agree or disagree?