some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main sbjects. other believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for qualifications. discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
In today's era,
many
labor requires additional skills that are not provided in the educational institution. Correct quantifier usage
much
For
this
reason, youngster are working extra hard on their study in order to get a promising job later in the future. However
, some students
hold a different belief. Thus
, this
essay will discuss these two opinion
.
Change the determiner
this two opinion
these two opinions
To begin
with, many young adult
, especially those who Change to a plural noun
adults
still
Add a missing verb
are still
in
Change preposition
at
the
University try to expand their skills Correct article usage
apply
while
studying in
the same time. Change preposition
at
This
is actually a good strategies
for college pupils as Change the noun form
strategy
the
could Correct your spelling
they
posses
new Correct your spelling
possess
insight
which are not given in the main subject they currently Fix the agreement mistake
insights
learn
.
Wrong verb form
learning
Moreover
, the scholers
tend to master Correct your spelling
scholars
a
good Correct article usage
apply
time-management
when they are put in Correct your spelling
time management
such
conditions. In this
case, students
will know how to differentiate important things, urgent matters, and some businisess
that can be done later on. Correct your spelling
businesses
business
This
kind of expertice
is really Correct your spelling
expertise
importan
as many companies require their candidates to have Correct your spelling
important
this
skill.
Despite that, deviding
Correct your spelling
dividing
focuse
on Correct your spelling
focus
focuses
focused
other subject
could effecting student's concentration and Change the wording
another subject
other subjects
led
Wrong verb form
lead
into
burnout. As the Change preposition
to
students
have many things that are
need to be finished, their performance in the main subject likely decreased. When they can not manage these all things, the chance Unnecessary verb
apply
to be
stressed out probably Change preposition
of being
increased
.
In short, the decision to gain Wrong verb form
increases
new
understanding of some Correct article usage
a new
knowlegde
that can not be found in Correct your spelling
knowledge
academy
can be both beneficial and unbeneficial. As long as the Correct article usage
an academy
students
have a
faith and Remove the article
apply
could
carry out the activities, Wrong verb form
can
perfect
Add an article
the perfect
result
Fix the agreement mistake
results
could
be obtained. Wrong verb form
can
On the other hand
, this
could lead to a bad ending if the students
can not maintain their condition.Submitted by ayscollegematters on
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Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure that the essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. The introduction and conclusion were present but could be more clearly defined.
Coherence & Cohesion
Develop main points with examples and explanations to strengthen the argument. Main points lacked detailed support and specific examples which would have bolstered the arguments.
Task Response
The response to the task question was somewhat complete. However, a more in-depth comparison of the views and a clearer expression of your own opinion is needed. Present a balanced discussion of both views before stating your own position.
Task Response
Clarify and develop ideas comprehensively. Use examples to illustrate your points and explain the implications or consequences of these ideas. The ideas presented were relevant but needed more depth and development to be comprehensive.
Task Response
Make sure to include specific examples that are directly relevant to the topic of the essay to support your points. The absence of specific, relevant examples impacted the effectiveness of the essay's argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.