Most of the people in older time used to stay in the same place. Now many people keep changing places and move to various places during their life time. What Are the reasons for this? Do u think that it is a positive or a negative development?
In the past,our ancestors used to live in
same
Correct article usage
the same
places
but many people
move
Wrong verb form
moved
todifferent
Correct your spelling
to different
different
type
of Fix the agreement mistake
types
places
in modern society
.This
two statements have some negative and positive development.Change the determiner
These
Then
this
esaay
will Correct your spelling
essay
further
explore the reasons and relevant
Replace the word
relevance
this
matter.
Change preposition
of this
To begin
, in modern society
Add a comma
society,
people
prefer to live with much
Change the quantifier
many
facilities
Therefore
they try to move
in
Change preposition
to
city
because they Add an article
the city
they
do not prefer to live with Remove the redundancy
apply
lack
of Correct article usage
a lack
facilities
.As an example, having a low internet connection is
directly Unnecessary verb
apply
imapact
their office Correct your spelling
impacts
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
such
as zoom
Capitalize word
Zoom
meeting
Fix the agreement mistake
meetings
sending
Verb problem
apply
email
and other internet connections. Fix the agreement mistake
emails
Besides
, transportation facilities
is
not good in Change the verb form
are
Add an article
the country
country side
. Correct your spelling
countryside
As a result
, they tend to move
in
various Change preposition
to
places
for obtaining
Change preposition
to obtain
much
Change the quantifier
many
facilities
. However
our elder Add a comma
However,
people
used to live in same
Correct article usage
the same
places
because their attitudes is
different than present Wrong verb form
were
people
because they had Change noun form
people's
simple
Correct article usage
a simple
life style
. For Correct your spelling
lifestyle
an
Correct article usage
apply
instance
they do not use technological Add a comma
instance,
device
for their Fix the agreement mistake
devices
day to day
Add a hyphen
day-to-day
works
because they Fix the agreement mistake
work
had
Wrong verb form
have
simple
Correct article usage
a simple
life style
.
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
However
,staying in various places
is more beneficial to identify
different Wrong verb form
identifying
type
of cultures Fix the agreement mistake
types
traditions
in Correct word choice
and traditions
society
and they can be make
Change the verb form
make
relationship
with other Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
people
.As an example place to place,people
cultures traditions Change noun form
people's
roughly
different Add a missing verb
are roughly
then
they can be adapted to any places
easily. But elder Fix the agreement mistake
place
people
can not be changed
their Wrong verb form
change
life style
because they are in one frame with their rituals and traditions Correct your spelling
lifestyle
then
it was
Wrong verb form
is
difficulty
to Replace the word
difficult
move
in
various Change preposition
to
places
.
To sum up
, this
both Correct determiner usage
apply
statement
have some negative and positive development, but in my personal opinion Change to a plural noun
statements
according to
modern society
, people
have move
Change the verb form
moved
in
various Change preposition
to
places
because they have to convenient their life
for better
Add an article
a better
life
.Submitted by pereranoori on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
Your essay lacks a clear and logical structure, which makes it difficult for the reader to follow your line of reasoning. It is important to organize your essay into clear paragraphs with topic sentences that introduce the main idea of each paragraph. Each paragraph should then develop that idea with explanations and examples.
coherence cohesion
You should include an introduction that clearly states the purpose of the essay and a conclusion to summarize the main points and restate your position. Ensure that the conclusion is a natural end to the discussion presented in the body of the essay.
coherence cohesion
The points you have made are somewhat supported, but they would benefit from more development and elaboration. Use specific examples to illustrate your points, and make sure that the examples are directly relevant to the question prompt.
task achievement
Your response to the task is incomplete. You should fully address all parts of the task with a clear position throughout the response. Make sure to answer both questions: the reasons for the shift from staying in one place to moving places, and whether this is a positive or negative development.
task achievement
Ideas need to be expressed more clearly and comprehensively. You may want to focus on improving the development of your ideas, ensuring that they answer the question directly and that they are explained fully.
task achievement
Including relevant, specific examples would enhance your essay. These examples should support the points you're making and be directly linked to the question. Avoid general statements; provide tangible evidence or instances instead.