IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Most of the people in older time used to stay in the same place. Now many people keep changing places and move to various places during their life time. What Are the reasons for this? Do u think that it is a positive or a negative development?

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In the past,our ancestors used to live in
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
places
Use synonyms
 but many
people
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
move
Wrong verb form
moved
show examples
todifferent
Correct your spelling
to different
different
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
show examples
 of
places
Use synonyms
 in modern
society
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
This
Change the determiner
These
show examples
 two statements have some negative and positive development.
Then
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
esaay
Correct your spelling
essay
 will
further
Linking Words
 explore the reasons and
relevant
Replace the word
relevance
show examples
Linking Words
this
Change preposition
of this
show examples
 matter.
To begin
Linking Words
, in modern
Use synonyms
society
Add a comma
society,
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 prefer to live with
much
Change the quantifier
many
show examples
facilities
Use synonyms
Therefore
Linking Words
 they try to
move
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
city
Add an article
the city
show examples
 because they
they
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
do not prefer to live with
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of
facilities
Use synonyms
.As an example, having a low internet connection
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
directly
imapact
Correct your spelling
impacts
 their office
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
such
Linking Words
 as
zoom
Capitalize word
Zoom
show examples
meeting
Fix the agreement mistake
meetings
show examples
sending
Verb problem
apply
show examples
email
Fix the agreement mistake
emails
show examples
 and other internet connections.
Besides
Linking Words
, transportation
facilities
Use synonyms
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 not good in
Add an article
the country
show examples
country side
Correct your spelling
countryside
show examples
.
As a result
Linking Words
, they tend to
move
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 various
places
Use synonyms
for obtaining
Change preposition
to obtain
show examples
much
Change the quantifier
many
show examples
facilities
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
 our elder
people
Use synonyms
 used to live in
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
places
Use synonyms
 because their attitudes
is
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
 different than present
Use synonyms
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
 because they had
simple
Correct article usage
a simple
show examples
Use synonyms
life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
. For
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
instance
Add a comma
instance,
show examples
 they do not use technological
device
Fix the agreement mistake
devices
show examples
 for their
day to day
Add a hyphen
day-to-day
show examples
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
 because they
had
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
simple
Correct article usage
a simple
show examples
Use synonyms
life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
 ,staying in various
places
Use synonyms
 is more beneficial to
identify
Wrong verb form
identifying
show examples
 different
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
show examples
 of cultures
traditions
Correct word choice
and traditions
show examples
 in
society
Use synonyms
 and they can
be make
Change the verb form
make
show examples
relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
show examples
 with other
people
Use synonyms
.As an example place to place,
Use synonyms
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
 cultures traditions
roughly
Add a missing verb
are roughly
show examples
 different
then
Linking Words
 they can be adapted to any
Use synonyms
places
Fix the agreement mistake
place
show examples
 easily. But elder
people
Use synonyms
 can not
be changed
Wrong verb form
change
show examples
 their
Use synonyms
life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
 because they are in one frame with their rituals and traditions
then
Linking Words
 it
was
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
difficulty
Replace the word
difficult
show examples
 to
move
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 various
places
Use synonyms
.
To sum up
Linking Words
,
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
both
statement
Change to a plural noun
statements
show examples
 have some negative and positive development, but in my personal opinion
according to
Linking Words
 modern
society
Use synonyms
,
people
Use synonyms
 have
Use synonyms
move
Change the verb form
moved
show examples
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 various
places
Use synonyms
 because they have to convenient their
life
Use synonyms
 for
better
Add an article
a better
show examples
life
Use synonyms
.

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coherence cohesion
Your essay lacks a clear and logical structure, which makes it difficult for the reader to follow your line of reasoning. It is important to organize your essay into clear paragraphs with topic sentences that introduce the main idea of each paragraph. Each paragraph should then develop that idea with explanations and examples.
coherence cohesion
You should include an introduction that clearly states the purpose of the essay and a conclusion to summarize the main points and restate your position. Ensure that the conclusion is a natural end to the discussion presented in the body of the essay.
coherence cohesion
The points you have made are somewhat supported, but they would benefit from more development and elaboration. Use specific examples to illustrate your points, and make sure that the examples are directly relevant to the question prompt.
task achievement
Your response to the task is incomplete. You should fully address all parts of the task with a clear position throughout the response. Make sure to answer both questions: the reasons for the shift from staying in one place to moving places, and whether this is a positive or negative development.
task achievement
Ideas need to be expressed more clearly and comprehensively. You may want to focus on improving the development of your ideas, ensuring that they answer the question directly and that they are explained fully.
task achievement
Including relevant, specific examples would enhance your essay. These examples should support the points you're making and be directly linked to the question. Avoid general statements; provide tangible evidence or instances instead.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Globalization
  • Job mobility
  • Cultural integration
  • Socioeconomic factors
  • Urbanization
  • Relocation
  • Migration trends
  • Quality of life
  • Residential stability
  • Transience
  • Diaspora
  • Amelioration
  • Rootlessness
  • Nomadism
  • Expatriation
  • Adaptation
  • Displacement
  • Interconnectivity
  • Cosmopolitanism
  • Sustainability
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