Some University students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Some educational students want to learn about different subjects.
However
other people think it's
a
Change the article
an
show examples
essential focus on the major
subject
for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
future work.So, I will discuss both points of view and I will give my own opinion.
On the other hand
, you will get bored studying
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
one compulsory
subject
after some time.
moreover
Add a comma
moreover,
show examples
If you
study
an extra
subject
which you want to
study
with great desire. It will be
good
Change the article
a good
show examples
chance in the future for you.
For example
, if you had an experience and knowledge about maths
as well as
geometry. and you can solve some problems about
then
,
in addition
, you can communicate on both of topics.
furthermore
Add a comma
furthermore,
show examples
students have to give all their leisure time to
study
for a qualification.Because
while
you will
study
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
another
subject
you can forget t about other things, which you learn from
main
Correct article usage
the main
show examples
subjects. It will
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
lead a endBesides the
most
Correct word choice
biggest
show examples
problem issue nowadays is that children can not find their for the next stage of their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
. Because they gathered knowledge from everywhere from every
subject
. So that’s why most children can not find their aim
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
these daysIn conclusion, I want to say that, students at universities have to pay more attention to their main
subject
and
study
for qualification.
Nonetheless
, you can
study
extra subjects but you need to be focused on the main
subject
.
Submitted by xolmaxmatovamarjona on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay lacks clarity and does not progress logically. The introduction should clearly present the topic and your thesis statement, and the conclusion should summarize your arguments and restate your opinion. Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and that your essay progresses logically from one idea to the next, with each paragraph connecting to the central argument of the essay.
task achievement
Your response only partially addresses all parts of the task. You need to discuss both views thoroughly and provide a clear opinion. Expand on your ideas to fully address the task, ensuring you provide specific examples to support your arguments. Develop your ideas in a way that addresses the question directly and completely, with enough detail to satisfy the requirements of the task.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Broaden
  • Perspectives
  • Specialize
  • Critical thinking
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Career success
  • Interdisciplinary connections
  • Structured path
  • Clear goals
  • Creativity
  • Innovation
  • Academic credibility
  • Recognition
  • Balance
  • Exploring
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