Some people believe that technology has made man more social. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Experts throughout both the developing and developed world have debated whether the advent of sophisticated modern
technology
such
as mobile phones, laptops and iPad
Correct your spelling
iPads
have
helped to enhance and improve Correct subject-verb agreement
has
people
's social lives or whether the opposite has become the case.
Personally, I strongly advocate the former view. This
essay will discuss both sides using examples from the UK government and Oxford University to demonstrate points and prove arguments.
On the one hand
there is ample, powerful, almost daily evidence that Add a comma
hand,
such
technology
can be detrimental especially
to the younger generation who are more easily affected by Add the comma(s)
, especially
it’s
addictive nature Replace the word
its
and
which can result in Correct word choice
apply
people
feeling more isolated from the
society.
The central reason behind Correct article usage
apply
this
is twofold, firstly
, the invention of online social media sites and apps, such
as Twitter and Facebook have
reduced crucial face-to-face interactions dramatically. Through Correct subject-verb agreement
has
use
of these appealing and attractive mediums, Add an article
the use
people
feel in touch and connected yet lack key social skills and the ability to communicate.
Secondly
, dependence on such
devices is built up frighteningly easily which may have a damaging effect on mental health and encourage a sedentary lifestyle. For example
, recent scientific research by the UK government demonstrated that 90% of people
in their 30s spend over 20 hours per week on Messenger and similar applications to chat with their friends instead
of meeting up and spending quality time together or doing sport
. Fix the agreement mistake
sports
As a result
, it is conclusively clear that these technology
advancements have decreased and diminished our real life
interactions.
Add a hyphen
real-life
On the other hand
, although
there are significant downsides to technological developments, its’ multifold advantages cannot be denied. This
is largely because the popularity of technology
such
as cellphones allows people
to connect freely and easily with no geographical barriers.
People
are able to share any type of news, information, photos and opinions with their loved ones whenever and wherever they want therefore
keeping a feeling of proximity and closeness. For example
, an extensive study by Oxford University illustrated that people
who work, or study abroad and use applications like Facetime and WhatsApp to chat with their families, are less likely to experience loneliness and feel out of the loop than those who do not.
Consistent with this
line of thinking is that businessmen are also
undoubtedly able to benefit from these advances by holding virtual real -time
meetings using Skype which may increase the chance of closing business deals without the need to fly.
From the arguments and examples given I firmly believe that Correct your spelling
real-time
overall
communication and mans’
sociability Change noun form
man’s
has been
advanced enormously Wrong verb form
have
due to
huge
the huge technological progress of the past twenty years and despite some potentially serious health implications which governments should not fail to address, it is predicted that its popularity will continue to flourish in the future.Correct word choice
apply
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each main paragraph focuses on a single main point, supplemented by clear, relevant examples or explanations.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider range of cohesive devices and linking words to improve flow and connectivity between sentences and paragraphs.
task achievement
In the introduction, clearly state your opinion to directly answer the essay question and set the stage for your arguments.
task achievement
Aim to provide a more nuanced perspective by acknowledging complexities within arguments instead of presenting them as one-sided.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.