In spite of many advances women have made in education and employment, they continue to be at a disadvantage when it comes to pay and promotion. In your view, what should be done to promote equality of opportunity for men and women in the workplace.
Although
,
many benefits Remove the comma
apply
effort
Fix the agreement mistake
efforts
women
have performed in their education and work
, they are still detrimental in terms of income and job
promotion. This
Is because people
have different outlooks about
Change preposition
on
women
roles in their Change noun form
women's
live
especially in the Replace the word
lives
work
Correct your spelling
workplace
place
.
The first primary reason is people
still argue that women
are still the assistance of men
in doing something. This
will put every women
in Change to a singular noun
woman
second
position in terms of handling or performing some Correct article usage
a second
job
and responsibility given as well. for example
, taking a women
who Fix the agreement mistake
woman
work
in Correct subject-verb agreement
works
bank
. Even Add an article
a bank
the bank
she
Correct word choice
if she
have
Change the verb form
has
capability
and Add an article
the capability
broaden
insight about managing the bank Replace the word
broad
may
be she will be second Verb problem
apply
place
to be promoted as a manager
if compared with men
which
have the same quality. In Correct pronoun usage
who
the
terms of paid Correct article usage
apply
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
for
example, Add the comma(s)
, for
Add an article
the manager
a manager
manager
will hire higher Fix the agreement mistake
managers
salary
to Fix the agreement mistake
salaries
men
due to
misleading perceptions.
The second main reason is some people
still concerning
about Replace the word
concerned
women
role in their Change noun form
women's
live
as Replace the word
lives
a housewives
. Correct the article-noun agreement
a housewife
housewives
This
is because,
those still have Remove the comma
apply
point
of view that Correct article usage
the point
women
just
can Rephrase
apply
accomplish
household activities. When it comes to the condition that Rephrase
only accomplish
women
should involve
in Wrong verb form
be involved
work
place
, the Correct your spelling
workplace
manager
will put women
in the area that needs high
physical energy than areas of Correct word choice
higher
job
which is using smart critical thinking. Correct article usage
the job
For example
, women
may be allocated to the daily workforce in the cigarette company to role
the cigarette rather than put them as a leader.
Keeping equality of Correct your spelling
roll
opportunity
for men
and women
in the workplace is of paramount importance. Many
effort can be Correct quantifier usage
Much
done
by making some Verb problem
made
regulation
with Fix the agreement mistake
regulations
put
the criteria that every Verb problem
apply
people
can achieve Fix the agreement mistake
person
Add an article
a standard
the standard
standard
of the company to be a Fix the agreement mistake
standards
manager
or another positions
in Replace the adjective
another position
other positions
work
place
Correct your spelling
workplace
such
as discipline, hard work
and prestige. So women
and women
will have the same occasional in
Change preposition
apply
job
promotion. In addition
, education and campaign about gender separation in the work
Correct your spelling
workplace
place
should be performed in order to ameliorate equality of job
opportunity
.
In conclusion, the differentFix the agreement mistake
opportunities
opinion
aboutFix the agreement mistake
opinions
Change noun form
women's
women
responsibility in workplace
and household promote an imbalance in Correct article usage
the workplace
work
opportunity
. To make Fix the agreement mistake
opportunities
balance
Correct article usage
a balance
on
Change preposition
between
job
Add an article
a job
opportunity
in the Fix the agreement mistake
opportunities
work
Correct your spelling
workplace
place
with
Change preposition
between
women
and men
the company should make a
regulation and to Remove the article
apply
in ternal
Correct your spelling
internal
stakeholder
about the essential of equality in salary and promotion.Fix the agreement mistake
stakeholders
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Task Response
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Coherence and Cohesion
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Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic
IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.
Answer structure for the type of essay
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – advantages
- Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- The main advantage is...
- The disadvantage of this...
- The main benefit...
- Despite these advantages...
- One possible drawback...