Some people believe that students work better if the teacher is strict; others think it is better for students, if the teacher has a friendly approach. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

There is no doubt that these days
teachers
play a significant in education tutors make their
students
feel comfortable and confident or uncomfortable and inconvenient when they teach. There are some views about
this
essay some people think that
students
feel free and confident when the
teachers
are friendly and supportive
while
others believe that when the
teacher
is tough and uncomfortable they feel inconvenient. In
this
essay, I am going to discuss both views and draw my conclusions.  In terms of drawbacks
students
aged 1-15 need a
teacher
to care for them and teach them in friendly ways they do not need to be tough in education
due to
the
students
are still young they need to be them as lovely
teachers
for love you and respect you. In terms of positive aspects, the
students
sometimes do not respect anyone and
also
have bad manners they need a
teacher
who is tough to teach them, a
teacher
, who has a perfect way of teaching they make
students
how can they respect others. The main reason given to support
this
claim is that a tutor can be both friendly and strict in education
moreover
, to be friendly the
students
are going to learn from you how you are good and well-behaved. To illustrate, when I was a child I had a strict
teacher
still at
this
moment I hated her she made me uncomfortable and I hated the material she was studying in math
therefore
, I am not confident in math because of her attitude. There were questionnaires in different schools that asked
students
about tough and friendly
teachers
majority of
students
voted for friendly tutors.
In other words
,
students
feel more comfortable with good
teachers
than tough
teachers
. In conclusion,
students
consider friendly
teachers
like their parents they make feel free to discuss and requests
also
remember their
teachers
when they grow up more than tough
teachers
Submitted by luhana.chii on

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introduction
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paragraph structure
Work on organizing your essay with clear paragraphs, each one with a central idea, and consistent use of linking phrases to improve cohesion.
conclusion
Your conclusion needs to be clear and effectively summarize the points you've made in the essay. It should also explicitly state your own opinion, as the question prompts.
task response
Task response could be better. You should address each side of the argument fully and with more depth, offering detailed examples and explanations. Your essay should also answer all parts of the prompt, including giving a clear, developed opinion.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence, ensure that each paragraph smoothly transitions to the next, with a logical flow and progression of ideas. This can be achieved by starting with a clear topic sentence for each paragraph and using appropriate linking words and phrases.
examples
Remember to give real-life examples where possible to support your points and make your essay more persuasive.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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