Some people think that it is the responsibility of governments to take care of the environment, while others believe that it is the responsibility of people to take care of the environment. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
The earth has been destroyed
due to
over-exploitation of the environment. It is argued that the government
has the responsibility to take care of the environment while
others think that it is the people
task. In my opinion, Change noun form
people's
while
the government
working on environmental laws and policies, promoting eco-friendly movement could be done by the people
. A collaborations
is needed to save the environment.
On the one hand, the Change the noun form
collaboration
government
has the power to influence other stakeholders. The environmental problem
is complex due to
the involvement of the government
, the private sector and the society. The authorities could play a role as a bridge which connects their interests. In Indonesia, for instance
, the government
has successfully issued a law regarding the use of plastic bags. As a result
, the
society has been pushed to Correct article usage
apply
brig
their own bag for shopping. Correct your spelling
bring
According to
the data, this
policy can reduced
70% of plastic Change the verb form
reduce
bags
usage among the society.
Change the noun form
bag
On the other hand
, the community could works
together to Change the verb form
work
rise
general awareness on environmental issues. Correct your spelling
raise
Moreover
, people
also
has
responsibility Change the verb form
have
on
Change preposition
for
this
issue because it is their daily problem
. Technically speaking, the community could rise
Correct your spelling
raise
the
awareness by making Correct article usage
apply
education
events Replace the word
educational
as well as
promoting eco-friendly message
via social media. Fix the agreement mistake
messages
For example
, there is a community namely river guardian which actively cleaning
the river from Wrong verb form
cleans
the
Correct article usage
apply
domestics
waste. They Change the noun form
domestic
are
not only practically tackled the river waste Verb problem
have
problem
but also
promoting
their activity Wrong verb form
promoted
in
social media to raise Change preposition
on
people
's awareness.
To conclude
, although
the government
should take bigger
responsibility in Add an article
a bigger
term
of Fix the agreement mistake
terms
policy
and influencing power, Add an article
the policy
people
should also
make
an Correct your spelling
take
innitiative
to solve Correct your spelling
initiative
environmental
Add an article
the environmental
an environmental
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
as well as
promoting
their Wrong verb form
promote
action
Fix the agreement mistake
actions
to
Change preposition
on
the
digital platforms. The environmental condition is a complex Correct article usage
apply
problem
which could only solved by a collaborations
of Correct the article-noun agreement
collaboration
people
and the government
.Submitted by ryanrush16 on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure there is a clear overall progression of ideas throughout the essay. This is generally apparent but there are occasional lapses which can disrupt the reader's understanding.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider range of cohesive devices and paragraphing to clearly indicate the structure and guide the reader through the text. Some complex structures were used, but with errors.
coherence cohesion
Begin the essay with a standalone introduction that clearly sets out the topic and your approach to it, avoid integrating your opinion into the introduction, and end with a conclusion that summarizes your main points and restates your opinion.
task achievement
Provide a fully developed response to all parts of the task, with relevant ideas that are extended and supported by detailed examples. This should be consistently clear and appropriate to the task.
task achievement
Work on precision of language to avoid any ambiguity or confusion for the reader. Some grammatical errors and incorrect word choices can be found, impacting clarity.
task achievement
Incorporate more specific and relevant examples to strengthen the argument and demonstrate a wider knowledge of the topic.