Improvements in health, education and trade are essential for the development of poorer nations. However, the governments of richer nations should take more responsibility for helping the poorer nations in such areas.

Existance
Correct your spelling
Existence
of
Correct article usage
the poors
show examples
poors
Correct your spelling
poor
damages both groups, the rich and the poor. Over the
last
decades
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decades,
show examples
we can see powerful
countries
are trying to protect and help developing
countries
. They are insisting
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that all
countries
should be developed and the power should be balanced between them. It is obvious that
countries
help each other, especially
poorers
Correct your spelling
poorer
to make
this
balance. I think it is an excellent idea, poorer
countries
will be improved and
world
dicipline
Correct your spelling
discipline
can be handled easier. I believe it helps poorer economies to stay
well
Rephrase
as well
show examples
as
western
Capitalize word
Western
show examples
countries
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
. In an imaginary
world
without any international help and communication, we can not expect
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
all
countries
baheve
Verb problem
to behave
show examples
well with their people. There would be no human
right
Fix the agreement mistake
rights
show examples
in most
countries
, because on
one
Correct article usage
the one
show examples
hand, after a
while
kings or presidents would be addicted to power and lose their
mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
show examples
, and
on the other hand
, people will not obey their government because they are former and uneducated
human kind
Correct your spelling
humankind
show examples
. It is a dark spot which causes
violance
Correct your spelling
violence
and war and in
long
Correct article usage
the long
show examples
term
Add a comma
term,
show examples
no
countries
Fix the agreement mistake
country
show examples
will be safe.
Additionally
, in an isolated
world
, when
countries
resist
to help
Change the verb form
helping
show examples
each other, disease and viruses, that are caused by nature or
human
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humans
show examples
, would make a
dsaster
Correct your spelling
disaster
for poorer
countries
and if richer
countries
will not handle and execute
these kind
Change the determiner
this kind
these kinds
show examples
of worldwide spreads, maybe it would have been in all
countries
and bother
richers
Correct your spelling
riches
richer
too.
That is
why the
World
Helath
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Health
Organization
established
Add a missing verb
was established
show examples
. Another reason that developed
countries
want to communicate and help
third
Add a hyphen
third-world
show examples
world
countires
Correct your spelling
countries
is that they want to sell their products. Industrial
countries
need to sell the products, so they need customers and the third
world
countries
, which have
higher
Add an article
a higher
show examples
population, is
great
Add an article
a great
show examples
market for them. If poor
countries
can not buy products from them, industries will be closed and destroyed.
For
this
reason, powerful
countries
are trying to help poor
countries
to stay
update
Wrong verb form
updated
show examples
and develop them
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
maikng
Correct your spelling
making
demand. It helps the flow of money in international
sclae
Correct your spelling
scale
.
Overall
, I agree with helping poorer
countries
from first
world
countries
, because all
countries
are important for our
world
mechanism, some of them are producing agriculture and supply our food like
Correct article usage
the Netherland
show examples
Netherland
Fix the agreement mistake
Netherlands
show examples
and Ukraine, and some of them make facilities for us like industrial
countries
such
as Germany. All are important because the
existance
Correct your spelling
existence
of these
countries
depend
Correct subject-verb agreement
depends
show examples
on low or
same level
Add a hyphen
same-level
show examples
countries
and they knew that, so they
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
established
World
Correct article usage
the World
show examples
Bank.
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coherence cohesion
The essay lacked a clear and coherent structure, which made the flow of ideas somewhat challenging to follow. To improve in this area, consider outlining the main points before writing and ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Introductions and conclusions are essential to signal the beginning and end of your argument clearly.
task achievement
To address the task more completely, make sure to explicitly relate your arguments to the prompt. This means clearly stating how health, education, and trade improvements can contribute to the development of poorer nations and the role of richer nations in this process. Use specific examples to substantiate your points. Additionally, conclusions should link back to the prompt, reinforcing how your discussion relates to the question at hand.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • underdeveloped nations
  • economic disparity
  • global cooperation
  • moral obligation
  • historical exploitation
  • interconnected world
  • economic stability
  • quality of life
  • trade relationships
  • humanitarian aid
  • capacity building
  • dependency syndrome
  • sustainable development
  • bilateral agreements
  • economic priorities
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