Modern forms of communication such as email and messaging have reduced the amount of time people spend seeing their friends. This has had a negative effect on their social lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In
this
day and age, the advent of new technologies has brought many advantages to our lives. However
, many people
believe that modern communicative tools including email and messaging have negatively affected their social lives. In my view, I partly agree with this
view. This
essay will analyse the reasons behind my opinion.
On the one hand, modern technologies have made our lives more convenient. By using social media, people
can keep in touch with their long-distance relationships. What is more, people
can use online platforms to communicative
whenever they are in need. Replace the word
communicate
For example
, during Covid-19
pandemic, it was impossible for employees to directly present at work and gather to have a meeting. Thanks to internet-based tools Correct article usage
the Covid-19
such
as Zoom or Google Meet, they could organise online discussions to complete their projects. Additionaly
, teachers Correct your spelling
Additionally
also
employed online teaching skills through virtual classrooms during that time
, making such
abilities a requirement for 21st-century educators.
On the other hand
, social media has greatly reduced the time
people
spend meeting their friends. It is undeniable that many teenagers are now too focused on their phones even when they are enjoying outdoor activities. For instance
, some children meet up with their friends at a cafe and most of the time
, they will end up scrolling their Facebook page without talking to each other. This
has led to a reduction in people
's communicative skills. Gradually, young generations will no longer be equipped with interpersonal skills, which are top priorities in today's world. Consequently
, they cannot meet the demand
of their future employers.
In conclusion, Fix the agreement mistake
demands
while
technological advancement has made communication easier, it also
limits the frequency of face-to-face conversations in our daily life
. Fix the agreement mistake
lives
However
, online communication is not solely to blame. How people
choose to spend their quality time
is one of the most crucial factors leading to an unhealthy lifestyle. It is our responsibilities
to balance the pros and cons that technology has brought.Fix the agreement mistake
responsibility
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task achievement
Ensure that your essay fully responds to all parts of the task. While you provided a balanced view, more depth in your argument with detailed examples would strengthen your position.
task achievement
Provide clear and comprehensive ideas but work on expanding them with well-developed arguments. A balanced discussion should explore both sides with equal attention and depth.
task achievement
Include more relevant and specific examples to support your points. Your examples should be clearly linked to the main idea they are demonstrating to improve your task response score.
coherence and cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is coherent overall. However, ensure that your paragraphs contain clear central ideas and that the transitions between them are smoother.
coherence and cohesion
Even though you have an introduction and conclusion, you should work on creating a stronger thesis statement and a more impactful final thought to leave a lasting impression on the reader.
coherence and cohesion
Support your main points with clear examples and explanations. Each paragraph should evolve from the main topic sentence, expanding the idea rather than merely stating a new fact or opinion.
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